Do you ever feel weird about certain scenes you're drawing/writing?

[candiedcotton]

Man, I published my first smooch scene yesterday and it was kind of a strange feeling. I'm still a bit new to romance subjects, and writing out/drawing/publishing a kiss alone was a little awkward. I kept wondering if it was too cringe or cheesy, too over the top, not steamy enough, too steamy, too aggressive, not aggressive enough.

Makes me wonder how tackling anything more intimate would feel. Which got me wondering if I'm just a shmuck or if this is something other people frequently feel. And then I got embarrassed when I published it. lol.

Ah. Anyone else?

Also, have you ever specifically gotten feedback/advice on steamy scenes in particular and was it weird? I'm thinking I need to ask for some feedback on the scene but I'm so awkward with that stuff.

Especially trying to find a balance between "aggressive" and "creepy". I don't really like rape scenes and stuff like that, I also needed the MC to be aggressive about it for plot reasons. So it wasn't really a consensual kiss which made me feel sorta like crap, but there was a distinct reason for it... ahhh. My brain.

[Freemints30]

I understand at the beginning, when I decided to finally write what I actually enjoy. Mostly cus the innate worry of being judged is always present. That takes time to go away, and from what Ive noticed to more I embraced it the less weirded out I feel about it.

Like this one kiss scene I wondered about for months mostly cus one character assumes the other is dead when it happens. Kinda like fairy tails since he's a soft heart romantic with a fairly... Off view of relationships and romance. Its meant to be a bit unsettling and sad.

Like a for a while I was going "Kinda weird..." but now Im just blase.

but no worries you aint alone. I saw the scene you talking about and its chef kiss excellent

[candiedcotton]

Thanks, that actually gives me a lot of relief, haha.

Yeah, it's weird, and I definitely have that fear of being judged. I think that's a natural thing, but it sucks.

The scene you described actually sounds really interesting to me, though. It has meaning and depth beyond fanservice, which I feel adds so much more value to a story overall.

Most stuff in the genre I'm in seems to be either one of two extremes; super fluffy high school romance with almost no real contact, or disturbing kink-filled smut with a ton of senseless rape that ends in the victim falling in love with the perpetrator.

Just totally weird to me, and I feel like it sets certain expectations in one direction or the other sometimes.

At first it was going to be hetero but I am atrocious at drawing women and I basically have no experience with hetero relationships, lol.

[Freemints30]

Thank yous , cus complications, meanings and depth makes fan service actual have context and is more interesting. Messed up broken people are fun

disturbing kink-filled smut

Irony I tend to fall under that label . Albiet more leaning on the consensual, disturbing and depressing cus that creates more questions and is more interesting to me.

I though don't get why things cant have shades of grey. Like at times feel like one way or the or the other. Like I get its human to want clean categorization, but it doesn't really work like that irl. I like to read my genre in their shades of grey, from light grey to Very dark grey.

Kinda think is more platforms fault for this. Like if they have restrictions they are insane to the point its sus cough recent kiss black list cough

Or they don't have any leading to a flood of the pitches blackest of smuts cus they are so neglected I feel it just spills out cus other place restrict EVERYThing. (smash words erotica section)
.

Maybe that would change in the future maybe it would get worse. Not sure but we can only make what we want to read and hope for the best in these parts.

As for women, Maybe one day

[candiedcotton]

I totally agree.

And I don't have issues with kink or smut (I'm very sex-positive thinking), but I mean more like... I dunno. Teacher x minor student and stuff like that. Weird amount of stuff like that out there, but I digress.

It's certainly nice to set a path outside the norm, for sure.

[Lensing]

Story of my life
I could write a book about this topic

[darthmongoose]

Oh definitely. It's been really hard for me to get comfortable with even just... sincere depictions of vulnerability or physical attraction. My old comics were always really flippant. Everyone made self-deprecating and snarky jokes all the time because it's like... if you make fun of yourself, nobody can make fun of you, and if you make a snarky joke, people can't laugh at you for being sentimental.

It can take a bit of bravery to expose your heart by depicting tenderness or revealing what you personally find sexy!

[Kelheor]

Yeah, particularly with the same kind of scenes xD which I find absolutely ridiculous, because I feel like I am... interfering with the scene by drawing it?

So I take this path slowly

[TheLemmaLlama]

Totally, though the scenes I most worry about are the sad/emotional/angsty ones :'D I'm kind of scared it would come across as overindulgent, my characters come across as whiney and overall make people roll their eyes rather than sympathize

[LouisWinter]

I feel exactly the same. There future events in my comic that makes feel uncomfortable in a stange way.

There's a vampire-like woman and her love interest that escape danger. The two find a safe place to rest. The vampire woman politely ask to lick the other's wounds because ,as a vampire, the blood would help gather strength.

Even typing that felt strange. I imagine myself drawing her licking the wounds, facial expressions, and typing the dialogue (if there's any). I want it to be romantic but strange, just like the connection between the two.This is far off in the future but sometimes question if I should make the scene or not. Feels like there's so much to gain from the such scene but it can also fall flat. This is embarassing to admit, but I'm not experience in the subject of love. And...in a way, I find this challenge interesting and motivating.

Also, I think the "vampire-romance" thing has been normalized to where people might not find this weird at all.
I think.

[abigaillmartin]

In my Cracking Eggs sequel, The Order of Benedict Ovum, it will later reveal that Charles Wellington had LSD slipped into his tea while his friends were over at his house. This takes place in 1971 and he is 16 at the time. Anyway I feel really weird taking my character on an acid trip, I’ve studied the physical effects of LSD which is elevated senses, dilated pupils, high blood pressure, nausea and of course the mental side of the drug, hallucinations, distorted vision, improved or dreadful mood.

It’s been fascinating me to see my character in an altered state of consciousness. I’m not encouraging people to do drugs ever! Don’t do them they mess with your brain! Don’t do them! I emphasize DONT DO DRUGS!

When writing this scene I just had to find a balance that oh this scene is hilarious but also I have to emphasize that something this embarrassing old film reel Benedict found would ruin his reputation in universe.

I feel weird writing this scene because in 1971, the exact same year this is taking place, LSD was made illegal! Like if anyone knew about the video, his whole reputation would be ruined and strangely ironic. He stops egg criminals but really, he took a drug that was made illegal when he was a teenager. It wasn’t his fault, but still it would ruin his career.

I didn’t know I thought it was an interesting coincidence. This stuff isn’t usually what I write but it’s something new and fascinating.

The part that weirds me out the most is some of the things Charles said while he was high. I’m going to add the line “Ella! Why are your tits so big?” I find it a very PG-13ish line when usually keep my dialogue a pretty G or PG level.

[Iris-Grimoire]

Can't forget it's just as awkward or misguided in real life, so that's your brain working within acceptable parameters!

It's... weird for me. I can write intimate dialogue just fine because they have the same appeal as a good one-liner for me, but writing actions and art are kinda weird too. I remember the first draft of my novel project where I'd pen down words every few minutes because I was so flustered;;

[candiedcotton]

I think that's my issue, too. Maybe because I'm really awful at being vulnerable myself, so I'm not... experienced with it?

Either way, it's interesting to explore new avenues, but man, it can be stressful. lol.

[candiedcotton]

Pfft, I relate so hard to that drawing.

I feel like I'm sexually harassing my characters.

[darthmongoose]

Maybe because I'm really awful at being vulnerable myself, so I'm not... experienced with it?

Oof, I've been there. In some ways, still am.

I honestly got waaaay better at writing relationships after I came to terms with being gay and started dating my partner. I'd always based my "romance" on stuff I'd seen in books, but in a really watered down way (because I was secretly freaked out by the idea of touching or being touched by a man). I think I'll probably always have a bit of an odd relationship with sexuality and feel a little awkward and uncomfortable about it. I'm always kind of in awe of people who are able to just own their sexiness.

[candiedcotton]

I relate to that as well, lol. I was raised Catholic. Gays were evil and I never dared considered myself to be one.

I kind of thought I was asexual or something for a while. More so, I was deeply in denial of myself and incredibly reserved. After the lengthy process of self-acceptance and experiencing dating people I was actually attracted to, I ended up working at an adult store and became really sex-positive.

Yeah, I tried writing a straight relationship before the current one and struggled so badly that I ended up changing the genders because I just couldn't remotely relate to any of it.

Another thing I realized later in life, is that I used to be pretty grossed out by romance on TV and movies and stuff, which is part of what made me think I was asexual. Turns out I was just turned off by straight romance. You often hear about how gay media makes straight people uncomfortable sometimes, but it can actually go both ways. Having actual representation in the media and being able to see it as a queer person kind of helped me realize what I was into.

[harlan]

I think your scene is amazing! No outside awkwardness leaks through.

I like to write tender romantic scenes though they usually don’t have a big place in my work. But my current tapas serial novel has a main character who is seriously affected by generational and personal trauma and some of the scenes about this coming up were difficult for me to write.

[powerplantanimations]

For me I've seen some crazy situations in real life where guys or girls just kiss or touch each other without asking.... and they're okay with it. Like I was at a bar at a meetup, and this guy was drunk and high, grabbed a random chick and just started making out with her next to me and I was like "WTF". But the crazy part was the girl was totally into it?!? She was pretty shy too throughout the entire meetup and barely talked to anyone.

Also Mexicans are REAAAAALLY passionate people. I just... channel that when I'm writing. Also also reality shows. It's fun just analyzing certain relationships there.

As a result, I write relationships and have them set-up in wild ways that sorta mirror how I see them in real life.

[OneArtsyBeaver]

I had trouble writing deaths because I didn't know if it was the best thing for the story, I often would sit in my chair for hours debating myself unsure if I was doing the right thing.

Part of me wondered if people would see all the pain in the series as torturing the characters. Or if they would even react to it at all, I definitely sling shot back and forth.

[UrMom]

Ah yeah. Lol that can be awkward at first, it helps to be around people who casually create that stuff. Like I used to draw porn, posting it and hanging out in only adult artist communities really helped make it feel less weird, I got over it a lot faster. Getting feedback from people who draw that sort of stuff regularly is pretty nice, it's pretty much like any other type of art. No different than getting critique on a bust painting.
I don't know of any romance fiction, or art communities, but you can always hang out in queer webcomic spaces? They seem more into talking about intimacy in fiction from a critical thinking, and what not, at least the older queer crowd is. (Not saying cis/het folks don't, I just don't go into those spaces very often.)

As far as feeling weird about certain scenes myself. Yeah, I've shown a few non-consensual implied sex scenes, usually only showing the post-act. It feels rather uncomfortable for me, which is odd since the type of porn I used to draw was non-con. I assume it's the context, the stuff I used to draw was just stand-alone illustrations with no backstory to them, and the characters only existed for those illustrations. My comic has (hopefully) fleshed out characters, they're already established within the comic by the time the scenes come up, and I'm showing the scenes with the intention of them being uncomfortable or upsetting. Although it doesn't help that it's meant to be more personal, and I know how things went "behind the scenes".