Does My Story Have a Moral Plothole?

[akitsukino]

A character's motivation to do something is what sets the plot in motion and will carry a very big part of the story's heart and themes with it. Sympathizing with a character is important, but having the character do something they need to be called out for eventually is also pretty interesting. My only problem is I wonder if I'm calling out my character for the right thing, and if I might be sending out the wrong message. Here's the gist.

Camilla is a selfish 12 year old girl. She doesn't like sharing or having things she deems "hers" tampered with. Her mother is getting remarried to a man with two daughters. Camilla doesn't like any of them, and is not prepared to share her mom or her other belongings with these new people. When she feels like this she goes to her grandpa. He is a very altruistic man and tries to teach Camilla about empathy and charity, but he also has a bad habit of indulging her when she's at her worst, another reason Camilla likes having him around. Soon, Camilla's grandpa gets very ill and it seems like he might not make it. On her way to visit him in the hospital Camilla is washed away in a storm and swept into a magical land. While there Camilla learns of a magical cube that might be able to save her Grandpa from dying and decides to quest to find it. But she soon learns that the ruler of a section of this magical land is also dying, and if he goes his whole section of the world will go with him, leaving thousands of people homeless. Camilla is saddled with the decision of either helping herself and her grandpa or potentially saving a part of a world.

See the problem? The main issue I want to make clear is that Camilla doesn't necessarily want her grandpa to live for his own sake, but for hers. I want Camilla's selfishness to be tied into her wanting to keep her grandpa around. I want Camilla growing out of her selfish desires and realizing that there may be other people who need things more than she does to be a pivotal part of the story, but at the same time I don't want to imply that people who want their loved ones to not die are somehow being selfish. I could imagine that irking a lot of people. I guess the biggest thing is that I'm not sure if the character's motivation and the moral / theme of the story ( "Empathy/ "Others may need things more than you do.") gel well together. I've thought of some ways to fix this though.

1) Maybe the person she's trying to save shouldn't be her grandpa, but her birth father. Her mother is getting remarried and Camilla doesn't like this, so her wanting to keep him in the picture would be understandable. But I also wanted her grandpa's age and looming passing to also be a consideration so I'm not sure of this.

2) What if I made Camilla do something decidedly selfish, such as only wanting the cube to sabotage her mother's new relationship. Now that would be something selfish and worth needing to be redeemed from. But I wonder if that's too shallow.

I've got some other parts of the story I'm working on that could feed into this issue, such as Camilla learning to love the magical world and its people (I'm planning on her making friends there), and the prince getting some serious development so that her deciding to save the world wouldn't be to out of left field or forced. I'm just really worried about this one part. I know you can't always stop people from picking out questionable morals in your stories, but the last thing I'd want is to leave in what could be a rather dubious moral message, especially if I can fix it now. So what do you think? Do you think the character motivations and theme gel well or do you think some changes are in order? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[Nugtown]

You could make the thing with her grandpa work if you impose a personal cost. So lets say she does something that would allow her grandpa to live, but she must lose something in return.

[Amecha]

Wanting to save someone can be inherently selfish though and that's an okay thing to show. Plenty of people will drag their loved ones through painful, debilitating treatments and therapies in a desperate attempt to cure or save them and ultimately make their loved one suffer even more, it's part of the grieving process for some people. Denial, bargaining, etc.

If you had the grandfather ready to accept his fate and having made peace with it but Camilla getting desperate and going after this cube to save him then she is being selfish and the moral isn't that wanting loved ones not to die is selfish but that you need to learn to move on and put other people's feelings first sometimes. In this case, her grandfather's feelings for wanting to pass and all the lives connected to the ruler of that land. By being selfless in this situation she would be doing right by all the characters despite how badly she doesn't want to let her grandpa go.

[shazzbaa]

The real world is messy.

Camilla is motivated by selfishness inside, and it's what makes her frustrated and unhappy with her situation. She doesn't want her grandfather to die, but in trying to keep him alive she would be stealing salvation from an entire world of people.

I don't think you have to moralise that decision. For Camilla to have to let go of the selfishness in her heart doesn't require someone specifically saying "it was selfish of you to want to keep your grandfather alive." It doesn't require the story to tacitly judge her for wanting that, either.
You could certainly just make her awful, if you want the "moral" to be much more simple; if that's your goal. But if your goal is this character who wants something very human and understandable, but is unable to let go of that desire because of the selfishness in her heart, and in the end she has to let it go, and in doing so also has to conquer parts of her that are unkind and dark and selfish......... I think you would lose that character if you made the "moral" less difficult.

And it doesn't have to be so simple as "Make sure it's REALLY CLEAR that she's being selfish!!!!!" -- that could even be unclear. Maybe she's never sure, maybe it was both selfish and genuinely loving at the same time..... but it doesn't matter: she has to be able to let him go. (I know it's been 4 years since my mom died and I still wouldn't be able to tell you if the moments when I wish that she could still be here with me are selfish. I think it's a bit of both; a lot of feelings at once).

The last thing is, I don't think you have to spell out The Moral Of The Story to make sure that nobody walks away with the "wrong" interpretation. Fretting about making sure that everyone agrees with this character and her decisions feels like misplaced priorities, to me. I think the most important thing is to be true to the story you want to tell and the characters you're trying to portray -- and if the moral is ringing false to you, that can be a red flag, but ultimately not everyone will take the same thing away from your story -- and that's normal and okay.

[Rhombik]

I think your plot is do-able so long as it's clear the grandfather has made peace with going and that the cost of living is pain and suffering.

Maybe there could be a drawback to the cube too that the person is only restored to a kind of half-life. It could neatly parallel the "real world" scenario.

[punkarsenic]

make her reactions to his dying and her most clear motivations about her. if he dies, who will listen to her when she gets angry? who will give her nice things? maybe have a scene where he tries to comfort her, saying its okay, hes made peace with dying, and she gets angry that he isnt thinking about her.

the film 'tooth' comes to mind. its about a trainee tooth fairy who fucks up christmas (or smth? i dont quite remember bc it was very long ago i watched it) and goes on a quest to save it, her motivation being that she doesnt want people to hate her, and her selfish motivations are dissected very well in the film. it could give you inspiration.

[akitsukino]

Thanks for all the replies and advice! This has definitely alleviated some of my worries.