Emotional Support/Advice Thread

[vothnthorvaldson]

I hate political correctness around these issues, too (and PC in general).
Extremely counterproductive, deepens the problem.

I don't, however, have any uneasiness around people who I expect to have a problem with my lifestyle. I've always been around many different cultures, so a lot of potential clashes. Although I can take a guess on what will be most difficult to accept of me depending on one specific person's culture, I found out that when it comes to people that have the potential to become friends or at least good acquaintances or colleagues... culture does not matter much. I have a lot of friends that are baffled by my lifestyle and I'm also baffled by theirs. It's fine to me.

[unknown_user]

About social inequality. Redacted.

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

It okay to do good in small way only. Nobody asking you to commit entire life to helping people. Might actually be counterproductive. It depend on how you measure it, of course, but mebbe you do more good in long run by living best and most productive life. Problems of world belong to everybody, not just to one person.

As for other thing, what you mean by "serious relationship"? It mean different thing for different people. That is probably the issue.

[kitschensyngk]

I'm not too crazy about political correctness myself. It sounds too much to me like trying to please all of the people all of the time.

But I do know that you shouldn't make fun of people who don't deserve it.

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

That imply that there am people who deserve it though. Who decide?

[SilentHamster102]

Why I'm a monster because I don't help those homeless people and so on? Why I even should? I'm not a charity center, I'm trying to live for 300$ per month and with this so awesomely productive economic and this idiotry with closing businesses because of that idiotic quarantine it could be easily 150$ after month or two or even less. I'm not considering myself a monster because of that. And yes, I'm always saying this openly, I don't care about those homeless, it's their problem not mine, I have many problems on my own.

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

It not sin to help yourself before helping others. Speaking in terms of necessities, of course.

Try to have more sympathy anyway.

[SilentHamster102]

Try to have more sympathy anyway.

Only after the world will have more sympathy towards me. Before that it would be my old story when I'm kind to others and only thing I get - is at best nothing, at usual - problems.

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

It not direct transaction. But how are you doing these days?

[SilentHamster102]

Me? I'm alright, better than it was year ago. Still not good, but progress is visible.

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

What that African country that start with a "K"?

[SilentHamster102]

So you mocking over me, right? I'll be polite on this forum and won't respond in my usual manner for such encounters, you won't provoke me.

Here is world map for you, pick any country you want.

World Map HD Picture, World Map HD Image - Maps of World

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

Me was going to say, "Kenya go into detail?"

[SilentHamster102]

Hm, ok then. I don't know so many jokes or word games in English, so I'm sorry for misunderstanding.

But if say seriously, I'm really feeling better, if you're interested.

Summary

At least it was before quarantine started, I already made my way out of hometown. But for now I'm back, retreated for a while, because I don't want to follow strict isolation. I'm way more productive that year ago, when depression was hit me again ( I even know the reason why it happened), I even was shut down my old comic because I couldn't work over it because of apathy. I'm still kind of sad most of the time but it's not so reactive already, just a normal state of mind. So for now I'm still sitting in my town, doing nothing serious IRL, drawing comics and other stuff for fun (at least it became fun again). I'm not so great at depicting details, so probably it's everything what I have on my mind currently

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

It good to see another person also climbing out of depression. Today me got in touch with last few relatives after almost a decade of silence.

[unknown_user]

Why I'm a monster because I don't help those homeless people and so on? Why I even should? I'm not a charity center, I'm trying to live for 300$ per month and with this so awesomely productive economic and this idiotry with closing businesses because of that idiotic quarantine it could be easily 150$ after month or two or even less. I'm not considering myself a monster because of that. And yes, I'm always saying this openly, I don't care about those homeless, it's their problem not mine, I have many problems on my own.

1. I would never think, that you'll take it personally. 0_o I obviously told about people, who have salary at least ten times bigger than your number. (don't be envious. These money all are gone now, more than 2/3 of them went on treating my health issues).
2. You could notice, that the post had mostly emotional character, caused by glaring contrast, which I saw every day those times.
   To be honest, all people can be portrayed as monsters in a proper situations and by proper point of view, because of moral relativism and moral contradictions. In that situation I saw us like a monsters because of emotions, which this contrast caused me every day.

[SilentHamster102]

I'm really took it's too personally, sorry. Just recently had a talk with my relatives about same subject where I was portrayed as really bad person by them because I never give money to homeless people. Sorry again, I was too emotional.
And I'm not actually envious, well, I am, a bit : ) but not because of money but because I never was outside of Russia and visit foreign country is always was a dream for me. But again, it's not that "black" envy, you know.

And about your second point, I'm agree with that. Being honest to yourself is always a good thing.

[unknown_user]

It okay to do good in small way only.

Did you ever try to really give a food to homeless people? If yes, you should know that after it they approach you every time they see you and ask for more.
At this point, you can choose two options:
- Refuse to give them anything further. In this case, they'll be sad, and you'll feel yourself like a shit.
- Continue to give them it. In this case, they'll told their friends, and more homeless will come... at this point, some aggressive ones can approach and try to demand help aggressively.
Do you see where it's going?
It's going in direction, where everything becomes more and more complicated at each step, like a snowball, rolling from the mountain. That's why I'm saying that helping people is not trivial task. Even if you do it once or twice, you already meet complications. And the further - the worse.

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

That not the only way to do good.

Mebbe because me am guy, or mebbe because local beggars am nicer, but me not really encounter pushy beggar. Then again, many beggars here am part of syndicate and many of child-beggars am coached and dressed for maximum sympathy. Girl-beggars am sometimes dressed like pedo bait. It all very unsettling.

Anyway, me believe that most people can best help the world by being best selves.

[vothnthorvaldson]

On the charity aspect: I feel a bit like you, @tired_programmer. I'm very ill at ease when I see extreme poverty next to luxury. And like you, I'm puzzled about what I can do, and am too lazy/blase to find an answer.

Since I started farming, I sometimes give my extras to people making free meals. I would do it more often if it was easier. As ridiculous as it is, I'm allowed to do direct sales and sell at markets, but I need a certification to sell to supermarkets AND GIVE TO CHARITY. Yes, my products are apparently healthy for sale at high prices, but not at low prices or to give away. Some stupid law (I know what it is for, but it makes no sense for small businesses. I can't really get the certification because it's not really easy or relevent to small farms). So I have to give to small local charities (these are not required to ask for the certification), but they don't have a good system to recieve donations (because they are small and don't have lots of staff), so I end up not giving often because of logistics. I could, but I don't do the extra effort.
So depressing.