337 / 369
Apr 2020

sigh, here we go again.

So lately i've been trying some new things, trying to improve. Which is something i'm always doing. In this case, trying some new things with line weight on my page.
But apparently people dislike the new things i try and advise me to start the darn thing all over again.

Which made me open my eyes just now. I just suck at drawing if i can't improve right. I also kinda suck at writing stories (i'm sure i'm not the only one with that opinion). I suck at my studies since my group project today was one of the lowest graded projects. I'm bad at making friends, i'm always lonely and ignored.
And i suck at sports, anything athletic is something i'm bad at. Seems like i'm bad at everything. And it made me realise how useless i have been in life so far, having done nothing useful except helping at volunteering.

Summary

Now i'm not asking for any pity or kind words since i probably won't get it anyways (and yes i posted in this thread before, getting straight ignored. But that wouldn't be the first time now, wouldn't it?)

WTF man 0_o
I've just checked your comics and I can say that the difference between the first and last pages is drastic. Improvement is undeniable.


About other cases, when you are trying to improve in something, but do not succeed for a long time... well, let's assume for a moment, that you really don't succeed, not just downplay your progress (actually I don't know the truth, but I should start with some assumption).
In these cases, the reason may be that you're learning in a wrong way. At least, it is what happened with me many times. There were several cases, when something looked super-hard for me, but as soon as I found good teacher or books on the topic, or just listened to a good advice of someone who already learned the topic, about how to learn it efficiently... things got MUCH better after it.

Hey there, just saw this and didnt get to see your previous thread.

Sometimes people get used to certain art styles in a story, so a drastic change may backfire. For some subtle art upgrades i tried, i asked for feedback here in the forum to other artists and to my readers too.

In the end i didnt do all the changes in art i had in mind, but kept the ones that worked better for my story.

When you try new things, sometimes these work, and other times they dont. If a change doesnt work, you learn from the experience and try something new. If a change work, you learn from the experience and go for it. Either way, you learn and improve. And even if you dont notice the change, it is a step towards something bigger.

I struggled with socializing when i was younger, i have some book recommendations that helped me a lot if you are interested.

The only way to improve in athletic tasks is to excercise. Guess now you may not be able to get out due to quarantine, but there are many excercises and work out videos you can do at home.

Humans are dynamic beings, we grow and develop, but some changes are more gradual. Dont give up, figuring out your talents and developing skills is one of the best presents you can give to yourself.

I also not deny, that everyone have some inclinations. Things, which are easy for one, maybe harder for another one. Significance of natural propensity is particularly noticeable in sport (which you mentioned) and other physical skills.
So, I'll not lie: if you're aimed to learn thing, to which you're not inclined naturally, you should be prepared to complications! ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ You'll have to put more willpower and diligence into it to reach the same level of expertise/skill in such thing, as more lucky people.
The alternative is to try yourself in as many fields as possible, and find those ones, to which you have inclination and which will be easier for you personally. There are so many things, which people can do, it's really hard to imagine one, who is bad in all of them.

Not sure if this is the right thread to say this on but, I guess I'll say somthing thats been bugging me lately. The thing I've been dealing with is the fear of disappointing people. I know that everybody on Tapas is nice and understanding but I still get those thoughts in my head sometimes. When I first started here I was struggling to decide what kind of upload schedule to have. Right now I'm trying to keep my current schedule stable. I guess I'm just afraid of losing my readers trust if my uploading schedule were to continue to change. (Which is won't for awhile).

I had to change up my upload schedule because I was burning through my buffer far too fast, I just couldn't keep up with the drawing, and it really stressed me out, and coupled with a nasty bout of depression, I just couldn't keep up, and my sense of self-worth plummeted. I wound up having to go on hiatus to get my head back in the game, and am still not back to posting yet. My readers have been super kind throughout the entire thing, and have been very understanding. I really didn't lose too many readers, either (not that I had very many to lose, but I was worried I'd lose the ones I had, of course!), I actually managed to gain a few along the way, oddly enough. So don't be afraid to take the time that you need, just be honest and explain what's going on every time you feel the need to change something about your upload schedule! Just my two cents, take it as you will!

It was the critique of some things which upset me in G*%gle corporative culture. Redacted. I don't think anymore, that this forum is the proper place for such post.

Sounds hellish, but is that specific to Google? Sounds like corporate culture + North American culture (which, for my personality, is one of the worst possible combinations. Maybe corporate + Japanese culture would be worse, because of the extra strong seniority/hierarchy aspect).

Yeah, I'm not sure, if it's specific to this corp. Probably many other corps have culture issues like this. But here I saw it for the first time.

I'm feeling a bit guilty to not being happy there and to write all of this, cause they really paid me very big money and gave other cool benefits, and people were really high-qualified and helpful. But all what I wrote above is still true, despite of this.

I don't see why you should feel guilty of not liking to be bribed to shut up and behave a certain way. I mean, that's always the case as an employee, but everyone has limits. I think it just means that for you, even the high salary and all the extras do not worth what you have to give up; other persons with a different personality will find it a very good deal.

It was some more critique of corporative culture. Redacted. I don't think anymore, that this forum is the proper place for such post.

Your worm story reminded me of that. It's not as NSFW that yours I think, though.
The worm story is a bit too much and I would not have told it :sweat_smile: but the other things were perfectly fine in my opinion. It looks like you were not allowed to ask anything personal or even people's opinions, while still being expected to get along/be friendly with your colleagues? Seems paradoxical..

Anyway, my deer story. So, it was something that happened when I was a young university student, and that I told several times in labs in France with lots of success. People thought it was funny, and sometimes even asked me to tell it again to newcomers. That was 'Vothn's funny story', more or less.

When I started as a PhD student in Canada, I wanted to show my lab that I was fun to have around, so.. I told the story.
OOPS. Nope, nope, not safe for work here.. they were nice though, just looked very embarrassed and someone made a comment like 'it must be fun to work in a country where this is ok', or something similar to show me it's not ok, but she understands cultural difference (it was said nicely, not sarcastic). Also, them and other labs of the same uni have been so nice with my constant swearing, I really can't complain. But that was odd and unexpected.

NSFW for Canadian academia, but SFW for French academia ^^

So when I was a student, I did a study on the rut of the deer, with several other students (a mix of girls and guys). We were at the library, discussing our results.
One of the main things we were looking for were 1) male is mounting female 2) penetration occurs and 3) ejaculation occurs.
As you can imagine, making the difference between 2 and 3 can be tricky and subject to experimenter bias. So it gave something like that (as I can remember 20 years later):

(in science library)
Student 1 - Wait, at XXminutes YYseconds, you forgot an ejaculation!
S2: Nah, there was none
S3: Yes there was!
S2: no, I'm pretty certain not. The angle of the body was not right, it is very unlikely that..
S3: HEY STUDENT 4 (who was passing by, but in another aisle) DID THE LARGE MALE EJACULATE THE SECOND TIME?
S4: YEAH I THINK SO!
S2: COME ON GUYS! I WAS THERE! HE DID NOT!
S1, S3, S4, S5, me : WE WERE THERE TO! HE DID!

And then we see the 3 math students at a table a bit away, looking both amused and appalled, probably wondering what kind of orgy the biology students are organizing :joy:

However, the worst overreaction I ever had was in France. My boss came to complain about me being drunk after a work lunch (I was not) and insinuated that I was being flirty with the invited scientist who was 40 year older than me, and all info my boss had was pointing toward us NOT being compatible in term of sexual preferences. I mean, I know she could not know for sure and age difference is not always a barrier, but still, it was an extra "WTF? Why??". Remember when you said some people think you are stupid because you are too enthusiastic? That was the same idea. 2 people meet, have in common a relatively rare interest for English Opera, BOTH speak enthusiastically -> the youngest one must be drunk and flirting..:rage:

You can tell the real diversity of a group by how they treat people with different opinions..... For what you descrive...it sounds better to avoid talking about politics/religion/anything controversial during work.

In general when people show pictures of their family members it`s better to avoid questions that are too personal. Safer questions like "whats her age", "how many kids you have" or "is she the younger/older"(in case the person already mentioned having more than one daughter) work better for such situations.

Maybe she was drunk and trying to flirt with the scientist?.....and perhaps her English Opera game was weak and that made her insecure?.......when people come with weirdly specific suspicions there are chances they are projecting themselves in others....

I think she was just stressed out, because we were organizing the event, plus I had forgotten something important that made the event starts with some problems..so she was not trusting me anymore (which I can understand) and probably thought me being drunk explained everything. Nope, just a terrible memory.

Yes, exactly, there I had to avoid any topics which could potentially cause at least a glance of disagreement between people.

:laughing::+1:

Well. I suppose for biologists it was normal, but others needed a bit... explanation ¯_(ツ)_/¯
:laughing:

Well. Yes, maybe she just tried to find an excuse to scold you, cause she was angry. People tend to interpret everything connected to you to the worse, after you let them down or irritate strongly.

Man, I once was accused to be on drugs, while I wasn't. I was just too deeply in thoughts and thus standed in the place, where I prevented people from going back and forward, (probably with absent face, as I suppose) for too long. LOL