I transcribe "How It's Made" videos and just keep replacing words until it reaches peak sexiness. For example, this:
Hot dogs are an all American fare. But most likely, it was German sausage makers who first came up with the idea. In fact, there are reports of German immigrants selling them from pushcarts in New York’s bowery as far back as the 1860s. A century and a half later, hot dogs are still the number one treat on the street.
Becomes this:
Hank McBeef was just a red-blooded American male. He knew what wanted and he knew what he liked, and what he wanted at the moment was Heidi Wurst, the hot little food vendor with her own pushcart up in the Bowery. Everybody knew that Heidi's meat was the best treat on the street.
And this:
Water is sprayed into the mix, and everything is blended together in a big vat. Corn syrup adds a dash of sweetness. The addition of even more water helps to disperse the ingredients and make the hot dogs juicier. Another machine then purees the meat batter into a fine emulsion and vacuums out any air.
Becomes this:
As they embraced, the leather couch grew slick with mingled sweat. Hank couldn't pull his face away. She tasted of sweetness and woodsmoke. She kissed him all the way down to his navel, lapping occasionally at his skin. From her sighs, she also liked how he tasted. He reached down there and found her almost overflowing, she was so juicy. Her hands and lips were working him like a machine.
And this:
Long rolls of cellulose tubing are loaded into the stuffing machine. It pumps the meat puree into these casings, twisting it every 5.25 inches, the length of one hot dog. It takes just 35 seconds to make a chain of hot dogs that would span a soccer field twice. Then three of those hot dog chains are linked together to make an even longer string, and they’re loaded several at a time into another machine, which drapes the hot dogs onto moving racks. The process is carefully timed, so that a twist always lands on the bar.
Well, you can't improve on perfection.
