I took a look. I actually like your paneling! You put enough breathing space here and there and alternate between small panels and big spreads. Good job!
The genre reminds me of Angelic Layer by CLAMP years back, but that was a 3D miniature robot fight. You might want to check it out.
It's great that you already use internal monologues (if I assume correctly, during round 2 "timed me out" sentence)!
But I think more than anything you need a strong main character. It's okay if you want to have more than one main character, but for a first chapter, you need a hook and a main character is your best bet. You can introduce another character more in depth in other chapters.
Don't use too many terms like camping, zoners, and life lead all at once in the first chapter. Think about it like you're telling the story to someone who doesn't play fighting games at all. That way you can appeal to more than just gamers and people might think they've learned something reading your manga.
Lastly, while the use of metaphors and linking the logic of simple stuff to a grander thing like human evolution, maybe keep it to once a chapter. Otherwise you're risking it being read as overly dramatic.
I have to admit I was kinda apprehensive at first since you keep on saying it's barely readable, but it wasn't that bad, really. lol maybe because I do super rough drafts myself. You really make me curious about this "flowchart ice". 
If you can finish it before September, try submitting it to Shounen JUMP's Tezuka Award! Good luck!
