Feedback on current splash page please?

[garrenn]

So I got some help from Tyler Kinney of Greengarten so I would love people to go check his comic out.

Anyways, I'm particularly proud of how this page came out for my comic Dreamwalker Felix and I wanted to share it and get some feedback on it. It's part of a dream sequence if it's not obvious from the background.
It's also the first time I've dabbled in motion blur. Thoughts on that? Suggestions?

[MaggieW]

I like the general impact and the depth in this page, the dust looks good as well ^^ maybe try adding action lines, so your focus is drawn more towards the creature.

[garrenn]

Well the white around the arms ARE action lines. Not sure if you noticed that or if you're saying it's not enough.

[shazzbaa]

Well the white around the arms ARE action lines. Not sure if you noticed that or if you're saying it's not enough.

(Since they mention drawing attention towards the creature, they might've been talking more about this kind of action lines)

[garrenn]

That's fair. I'm not sure how well something like that would fit in with my art, but I can always give it a shot in the future!

[shazzbaa]

thoughts on the splash page!

I feel like it works in the comic proper, since it's large enough that you have to scroll down through the beast-thing to get to Felix and get the effect of it looming. The page is cool and getting across what you need it to!

That said, if you want some thoughts on maybe pushing it farther --
With the composition taken as a whole, I feel like it's kinda held back by the way it's like.... bisected? It doesn't really feel like a big splash because the fisheye perspective and the sound effect kinda cut the page in half -- one half is looking up, and one half is looking down. You could literally cut this page into two panels, with the "BOOM" part in one panel on top and Felix's line in a second panel on the bottom, and it wouldn't really change much.

(In fact, you could probably use that to get some good flow?):

It's hard to put my finger on, but I think the other big thing might be that the fisheye perspective means that we're above felix, which kinda detaches us from his perspective a lil, and also separates him from the beast thing in the environment. I wonder if it'd feel more threatening shown directly from his perspective?

unsure!! but perhaps something to ponder??

It's also the first time I've dabbled in motion blur. Thoughts on that? Suggestions?

Motion blur is fine! I personally feel like motion blur always has to be a secondary effect -- the panel needs to work and be clear and the motion needs to feel powerful without the motion blur -- because motion blur won't actually add action, it'll just help action look cooler. So like, the smoke clouds, and thinking about how the street would crack under the sudden impact of those paws are good things -- you could even exaggerate the cracking to curve under his feet, or have bits of it breaking to fly up off the ground like debris if you wanted to push that impact harder. Things like pose having a strong line of action, or exaggerating the way fur flies back as the paw moves, are gonna sell that motion and impact far more than motion lines will -- so just make sure everything looks strong before you throw any action lines or motion blurs on it, imo, and the motion blur will just be the icing on top!!

[garrenn]

I definitely see what you mean and I'll keep all this in mind for the future You've been a lot of help in giving me feedback and I appreciate it so much ;0;

[inkorporate]

I see you already received good feedback but maybe a couple of things could help give a sense of size to the monster. The monster is generating dust, it would make sense do add a layer a brownish dust at about 5% opacity on top of the monster. It would make him much more impressive as well as separating him from the foreground (your character). Your Boom is really hard to see, white might be a better choice. The sky doesn't really separate well from the head of the monster, the lines are almost the same color as his fur. Think about using a constrasting color. I suggest you check out silhouetting. Here's a video about the general idea when developing monsters. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yKxY0KKrak

But it's also useful to think of your panels in silhouettes. Would a reader understand the actions if they only saw your panel as silhouettes?

Hope this helps

[DMBrigman]

Great feedback from everyone else, I would like to add that you might change up the background color. The beast's head gets lost in the black lines and it doesn't read too well.

[garrenn]

Yeah that's something inkorporate mentioned. unfortunately the sky color was chosen before I thought about the monsters color and it would probably look odd to suddenly change it.
I actually brightened the dog up considerably from what I first intended him to look like. live and learn.

[shazzbaa]

and it would probably look odd to suddenly change it.

Setting aside the fact that it's a dream, you can actually get away with more than you might think!

you could push it way more than this, honestly, if you wanted to really push the mood lighting, but just some examples that you do have leeway with colours, even in the same scene, and it doesn't look like the actual colour is changing -- it looks like the lighting is shifting, or like the mood of the scene is different.

fussing with lighting can also help a lot -- using a "light from behind" on the dog-beast adds contrast against he sky. I used red here, but frankly you could try another colour if you're feeling bold and get even more contrast. It's not gonna break folks' suspension of disbelief or anything to have a character suddenly dramatically lit!

[DMBrigman]

You could do a bit of backlighting or rim lighting on your monster, or even make the green glow bigger to help the head stand out more.

[garrenn]

Man at this rate you could probably draw my friggin comic XD I definitely see what you mean. I need to learn more coloring and shading techniques for the dreams really...