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Aug 2016

I started Glitch23 at the beginning of the year and am almost done with chapter 1. Its going to be wrapping up within the next 10 pages or so and I've never really had anyone critique anything about it so far. Really looking on what I can do to improve so I can apply it to the second chapter.

I've finally gotten into my stride with the art and paneling. When I first started I really had no idea what I was doing, and the character designs were a bit inconsistent, but I think I'm getting the hang of it now.

Would like you guys' thoughts though.

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    Aug '16
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    Aug '16
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Dude this looks really cool!! I can't wait to read more, I subscribed to it!

On page 23, Kaya and Jett's conversation gets a little confusing as to I don't know who the speech bubbles belong to, but I figured it out! Also, try to keep your text the same size on every page. I saw the text change sizes every now and then and it was a bit distracting.

Other than that, I think you are doing a really good job! I like the monster designs so far! Keep up the good work!

I'll keep those things in mind. Thanks for the feedback and I'm so glad you like it!

Hey! I like where this book is going. You're working with classic tropes and archetypes but I don't think that's inherently bad if the world is unique enough. The characters are fun and I'm a big sap for unrequited lovers, so I'm hoping Jett and Kaya will make it! Is David Jones a reference to David Bowie, The Monkees, or a pirate?

Obviously you're aware of your fluctuating artistic style, so I won't go on and on about that. My only point of critique is to maintain consistency in your art. If it was getting better and better each time I wouldn't say anything, but unfortunately at certain stages it seems to dip and get worse. It was drastically improving up until pg 20 where it suddenly seemed rushed. It almost looks like you switched artists. That was disappointing, because pages ago as the Negate was climbing out of that hole I was really impressed by your work! Maybe I'm alone in this thought, but I'd rather you publish a page late then for it to feel rushed. Because when you're art is good, it's GOOD!!

I have a concern, and maybe it's baseless, I don't know. Obviously you haven't showcased or explained the world yet, as to what these creatures are and what the equalizers are either. Based off the anime/manga influences I detect, I assume they're essentially a sort of demon or otherworldly evil sapping the life out of humans. And Equalizers are the puritanical system that rallies against this evil force. This is fine. From here on is where you might lose a reader like me, if there are no nuances in this good vs evil.
I assume Jett is going to be indoctrinated into this world, and somebody is going to explain to him the history and why he must do good. I urge you to add an element of ambiguity to this. In the same way that Attack On Titan does, where the element of danger also has an element of mystery, and even nuanced morality. Another example is Shadow of the Colossus, where these creatures (although clearly harmful) aren't just pure evil that must be stopped. Maybe destroying them is wrong? Perhaps in fighting evil, Jett needs to encounter some nuanced moral decisions about his actions, and even his fellow Equalizers. Maybe in this allegorical world, there is a reason these Negate need to exist? And maybe the GLITCH is something that exists beyond this idea of good/evil, something Jett comes to understand more than anyone around him.

You might already have an amazing and completely unique tale ready to explode in the next chapter, and if so, disregard any redundant things I have said. Do whatever your gut tells you. But if you find any of this helpful, I'm thrilled. Keep it simple, keep to the archetypes and don't over-explain anything. The less I know, and the more I can infer, THE BETTER.

I hope this is helpful. I just started making comics this month. If you or anyone reading this has any advice to give me about http://tapastic.com/series/seraphimcomics2 then I'll be a happy kid.

Good work, though. Can't wait to read the rest.

This is what I'm talking about. Thanks so much for taking the time to type all of that haha.

I hope I'm able to create a story you won't be disappointed with!