Feedback please! :D

mangofishcomics 2021-01-04 14:44:44 UTC #1

so...

i just started publishing my comic Misfortune Mirai here on tapas, and like always, i'm scavenging for ways to improve.

in short, just throw what you think needs improving at me lmao - i don't mind if you're harsh.

mangofishcomics 2021-01-04 14:57:13 UTC #3

thanks a ton. i can't draw backgrounds to save my life so that will help a lot. and yeah, i keep messing up speech bubbles oops. thanks again ^^

Freemints30 2021-01-04 15:04:30 UTC #4

Okay first off your art is pretty and a treat to look at. Nice colours beautiful everything. Infact art is the thing I least have anything to say. As said before the text is way too small for this and as for the story itself.

Since its to early to have a fully formed opinion take this with a barrel of salt. I felt whiplash. Like one page he's in a office then immediately back at what I presume his day job. Kinda makes me feel like I reading two separate comics. Once agian this may be due to it being too early to tell so take with a barrel of salt.

Minor font nitpick I found the lady's font colour too similar to her speech bubble colour. Making it hard to read.

jessijokes 2021-01-04 15:06:17 UTC #5

I really love the vibrant colors!
I do have a quick tip for your background in panel 1. While you do have some shading at the corner, it goes across both planes. If you look at a cube you'll see when planes shift, they tend to change value depending on the light source (getting darker or lighter). Simply shifting one of those walls lighter or darker in overall value will help add depth to your background you could even let that cast shadow that goes across both of them be impacted by the plane shift too. You may also want to shift the value of the floor just slightly. But I'm not sure. I like to shift my art to grayscale and check my values to know if my planes are shifting correctly.

I really like that angle in the first panel though

and the overall flow.

mangofishcomics 2021-01-04 15:09:00 UTC #6

okie dokie! thanks. I'll change the text colour to something a little easier to read. and i don't think you're wrong, I have a bad habit of rushing into the story - i'm impatient oops.

mangofishcomics 2021-01-04 15:10:25 UTC #7

oh thanks! i'll definitely start checking the values then.

Freemints30 2021-01-04 15:15:18 UTC #8

Its alright same here (So I drag out my beginings so Its the opposite problem) Really, if the rest of the comic is compelling enough it can draw in impatient readers even better as the story is already off the ground. I hope this does well, the art is gorgeous.

mangofishcomics 2021-01-04 15:18:21 UTC #9

oh thanks a lot lmao, i hope so too :^

Puck 2021-01-04 15:25:16 UTC #10

This is the most interesting topic for me since a long time and I hope I can help you with some critique.
The perspective in the first panel is too off. I don´t mind some unrealistic bended perspective but I would check
things like where the head of the guy should be, his head is way under the bottom of the windows,
he is in the foreground and he should be looking down on her because she is sitting the room. I´m not sure
what angle you wanted to draw there

The speech bubbles don´t work well, I think classic white black text would be better and with a way bigger
font. Panel 1, the speech bubble should be bigger and not the close to the character.
Panel 2 the speech bubble doesn´t fit into the panel, that means you have to make the panel bigger so the
speech bubble fits over the character

mangofishcomics 2021-01-04 19:54:24 UTC #11

okay thanks! looks like i'm getting very similar feedback about perspective and speech bubbles so yeah i'll fix that. thanks again ^^

darthmongoose 2021-01-04 20:57:07 UTC #12

One thing that jumps out is that the saturation and values on the characters and the backgrounds is a bit close, particularly when the characters have very brightly coloured line art rather than black. While it's not so bad that you can't tell characters from backgrounds, making backgrounds a little less saturated and using value so that characters are brighter or darker than their surroundings would help them pop a bit.
People have already mentioned the speech bubbles, but yeah, the text being small means that combined with the art having a readability issue the comic is a bit harder to read than it needs to be. It's good artwork, so trying to reduce that friction would definitely make a big difference.

magnavarra 2021-01-04 22:47:13 UTC #13

most readers use mobile phones and your dialogues are hard to read even on PC. try looking at your comic on your phone. Also red is very compressed on tapas for some reasons, just try uploading this page as a draft on tapas and see how it works - its free and no one will see it, just you.
also you use 940 - which is Tapas width and 1280 which is webtoon height. which maybe just a coincidence,., but anyway
if you try simple proportion and do some basic math you'll kinda get 940X1504 which is the same aspect as 800X1280. Thats' how I do it in my comic. So no need to waste so much blank space on the borders. you drawings are very detailed- use full width - just look at it it on mobile screen really.

I would also suggest separating this page into 2-3 pages with a much more blank gap between them. especially before last panel to add more anticipation after the intriguing phrase 'i don't want (to)...' ooh the readers should be sooo exited to scroll down and see what ti he talking about... rather than revealing that shocking panel at once

Puck 2021-01-05 06:29:20 UTC #14

it´s great that you asked for feedback, everytime you will do that you will learn a lot. it´s a fast way to improve and many people don´t use this way.
I have one idea for backgrounds. You can construct a room in a room builder like sweet home 3d, it´s free and easy to use, you can place
the characters and then redraw it. When you have done that a couple of times and learn one, two and three point perspective then you
will be way better at backgrounds fast. The speech bubble thing is easy to solve, on https://blambot.com is a good explaination how
it works

mangofishcomics 2021-01-05 09:27:32 UTC #15

ah i see. thanks a lot

mangofishcomics 2021-01-05 09:28:29 UTC #16

thanks for all the advice, i'll go check that out now

mangofishcomics 2021-01-05 09:30:53 UTC #17

okay yeah that makes a lot of sense, thanks. the program i use sets a manga border automatically as though you were to print it as an official book, so i'll have to see if i can adjust that.