From a local kids storybook to an adventure packed teen's comic! (I need feedbacks)

[Adi]

Hey there, lovely person. * creepy eyebrow gestures *

Kidding aside, I'm actually doing my thesis this year and would like to have some feedback! (Hurrah, now let's take a moment of silence and pray that I can make it through and graduate.) Anyways, the local kid's storybook that I'm going to be recreating is Virgilio Almario's Magic Banig (Banig=mat). Below are some pages from the book.

The original plot is about a young boy who dreamed that he traveled the world using the magic mat. Since the whole story is so light hearted for teens, I've decided to change it. So far, here are some pages that I already did (Ready for printing)

My main inspirations are Yuumei (oh, senpai) and OldXian. Suggestions are greatly appreciated! Well, since it's my thesis and I also want to know what others think about this.

Also, here's a link to my survey! (If u wanna help me gain more respondents huzzah!)

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

[joannekwan]

Sounds like an interesting thesis. How did you adapt the story and make it more serious for teens? What's your version of the plot?

[Adi]

Hi there!

Here's my version of the plot:
Fidel wants to travel the world. But due to his social status, he is unable to travel and is stuck making money. Until one day, he stumbles upon an old lady selling mats. The old lady offers him a mat and says it would bring him good fortune. He does get lucky but what is luckier is that he discovers that the mat is magical. The mat has the ability to transform into anything. Thus, Fidel’s adventures with the mat begins.

I changed the setting (from utopia to dystopia) and also I made Fidel older (from 9 to 16). What I also plan to add in the story are the problems our country currently have (like corruption and such) and the idea that the mats possesses unusual powers in my attempt to attract readers.

If you have any more questions, I'll try to answer it asap.

[getsuart]

This looks very interesting, I'd like to see more about it

[Adi]

Oh thank you! I'm actually planning to create a blog where I'll put my thesis' updates. I'll put the link right here right after I finish creating it

[mappypaint]

Interesting... looking forward to see how you will include our county's problems and what kinds of unusual powers the mat gives. In the original story, did Fidel know about his magical banig, or it just happens in his sleep and thinks he's only dreaming?

[Adi]

Hello and thank you for the time! I will try my best to properly portray the issues without being too biased hehe. While I was rereading the book, there wasn't a clear transition that he was already dreaming. But yes, it all happened while he was sleeping. In reality, the banig wasn't magical at all.