Your art is very good from anatomy to setting, and I like the sketchy look. It adds to the noir, dark setting and I am actually glad you chose black and white to do the art in because it might have lost the whole story's mood if it were in color. The plot is controversial, but interesting. I think you're off to a great start!
If you are interested, I am also an aspiring mangaka starting out. If you'd like, you can check out my series too! Keep up the good work! I'm interested to see how your story will turn out!