Hilarious achievements!

[Lahin]

Including yesterday, I have now-

Punched,
Stomped,
Pinched,
Slapped,
Clapped,
Sat,
Clasped,
Slapped [against object(walls, tables and such)],
Drowned,
Aerosol-ed [Drowned in aerosol],
Pressed with a finger[against object(walls, tables and such)] and
Lain down on- mosquitos to death.

So yeah. I can call myself an OP mosquito killer now, right? I'd say that's a pretty nice achievement! XD

What are your hilarious achievements? Share them if you'd like to.

[liaroger]

You have performed a great deed, a great service to humanity. I salute you, fellow mosquito vanquisher. I shall join you in your battle as soon as the mosquitos come out where I live.

[Eiranyx]

I calmly killed a flying cockroach by throwing one of my slippers and accurately hitting it against the wall and watch as it falls down on the floor and then sweeping it away.
I feel like a ninja now lol

[therosesword]

Well... I didn't kill anything but...

When I was in Sicily I went to a lovely cathedral. This was part of the reason I was there.

The cathedral was built in the 1600's so they charged admission to tourists on days other than Sunday. I was the only person at the ticket booth so I launched into a tale of why I was there.... in extremely broken Italian and horribly pronounced. It seems that you can rehearse what you want to say in another language but when you're faced with a native speaker the actual delivery flies out the window.

Anyway...

In broken Italian I explained my mother had died when I was 5 and my father had remarried an Italian woman (mio padre mogli secundo) But she died later when I was a teenager..(mio padre mogli secundo e morto,,,, teenager) then I said I promised (io promiesso --- it should have been "le ho promesso") her before she died to light a candle for her in Italy someday ... and I couldn't remember the word for candle so I made the motion of striking a match.

The lady paused a moment and with a straight face, said, in English "you wish to light a candella for your step-mother?"

It was just so "gotcha" classic.

It is my favorite story from a month of living in Sicily. When I told the concierge at the hotel she started to apologize and I told her, no no that dear lady waited so patiently for me to search for words and struggle to get out what I wanted to say, it was really sweet of her and I appreciated it far more than if she'd interrupted me. Even thought I knew it was far from good, let alone perfect, I had achieved communication in another language! . And then she told me that the woman,, she was sure, appreciated the fact that I was trying to learn.

[DiegoPalacios]

My brothers say when i was a baby and we were in a restaurant, i hit a flying fly with my spit.......

Also....became some sort of local "celebrity" in my school and in college for a silly squirrel song i uploaded in youtube in my teens.....some women even asked me autographs

[liaroger]

After putting in absolutely minimal effort to be cordial with this person because we're on the same discord server, I have received a Ko-Fi donation that was most likely from a simp who is very talented at coming very close to certain boundaries and then backing away very quickly. Well. Thanks for the money. I'm going to order dumplings with it.

[FafasMcMelt]

I see you're a man of many hats

[Lahin]

Okay. Add "Head butted" a mosquito to death to that list!

I'm on my way to becoming some mythological mosquito killer or something XDDD

[arxianfall]

Let's see what I remember.

• Got lost in Serbia. Until I cursed in my own language and that got me a drive to the nearest hostel.

• Accidentally met one of my idols (from my sport) while eating cheese off of a newspaper on the floor. He brought french red wine.

• [Evil] Got a whole school trip drunk including every teacher. Willingly.

• Served flaming shots underneath dangling, dancing penises, (real ones, attached).

• Walked 30kms in the middle of the night, in formal suit, through 2 forests while dragging a chain behind. me. Never seen people slam the gas so hard.

• Got painted as a glitter fairy and lost my group in the middle of a city. I was a lost and confused glitter fairy searching for other glitter fairies.

• Waterboarded people with beer.

That's all I can remember for now.

[Lahin]

You, my friend, have led a very adventurous life! I salute you!

[caelinalexis]

I broke:
both of my thumbs (left one twice)
my left elbow (monkey bars. I was around 3 - 4 years old?)
my right wrist (skating!)
Bonus!
I managed to hit my chin so hard my teeth went through my chin :] I was and still kind of am a problematic klutz. However, I did not visit the ER for the year of 2020.

[noenoh]

-got rained by baby scorpions :3 almost killed me
-the official cocroach killer at my job (the last time was on a meeting, my 2 max bosses + visitor scared of it calling for me to get rid of it but I only had my plastic binder, so I slamed it in front of their horrified faces)
-Whe watched Maleficent at cinemas and was the kiss part and Maleficent moved to kiss her forehead instead of her mouth, my frustrated ass screamed: NOT THERE, IN THE MOUTH BITCH! and all the ppl laughed and clapped . Man I wasnt the only tense at that scene.
- At age of 1 and half, I almost jumped from the balcony trying to fly as some crows I saw passing by but my mom got me in time I just wanted to fly. the balcony was over a cliff btw
- woke up in the middle of a surgery and heard the docs ordering to make me sleep again, Woke up again when it just finished just to scream in japanese and made run 3 male nurses scared of me and made them to bring me morfine :333333
- Was on a TV interview and at the end of it, the host didnt warned/asked me to collaborate for an add, I tot I was off camera already when suddenly the cameras were at me again and she asked me if I liked that product and I just honestly and blatantly said NO and hers and the cameraman faces were priceless. and when they cut for commercials she had to lie on the floor asking me NOE WHY????!!! and I was like: Dude I come here almost 2 times at year every year but it was the first time you asked me this!
- Also, for tv, I was helping on the filming of a pilot episode for a remodeling/DIY program as a tv script writer but the host was late/didnt make it so I was the only one who knew the script... I left fall a light bulb with the most poker pace ever, it crashed, and I just added : "if this happens I can show you how to clean it safetly". I think they used it...
- At uni, I achieved the art of sleeping with my eyes open 8D and 72 hours of no sleeping (not recommended)
- At uni I also knocked a guy and went away with it. I still enjoy the memory of making him bleed and the guards smiling at me cause that dude was a pervert.
- made friends with the scareist teachers thanks drawing (my history teacher at uni scolded me in front of the class for drawing on my notebook because he tot I wasnt paying attention, I managed to repeat word by word his class of that day, since then I have permission to call him Yoyo x3 and one day I was sent to listen an advanced class on my italian course, everyone was scared of the old italian guy, since I wasnt scared talked him back in italian over a pomodoro so idk how I ended drawing everything he asked at the whiteboard and forgot about the class) I think I achieved the make a friend with the grouchy guy thing.
- almost drowned
- Once got a ride on one of these :3 when struggling to climb a hill
- Slept on a mango tree (like a lot)
- Being so good at hide and seek that my friends/siblings always stopped searching for me ;w;

[Llyrel]

• Spain, 2009. Went to a bar, saw that they served snow cones, decided to order one. Now, my spanish is... pretty much non-existent. I can understand it if I read it, but I can't speak a single word. However, I noticed a sign that said "granizados" and went "ooooh, wait, so granizados definitely sounds like a plural... which means that the singular is probably 'granizado'? Let's try! "
  Asked for "un granizado". The dude behind the counter looked at me. He didn't understand what I said. I repeated it again. He didn't get it either. I repeated it again and again. And again. Still nothing. Eventually, I got so exasperated that I basically shrieked " 'NA GRANITA! " in an extremely boorish accent aaaaand... got my snow cone in two seconds: the dude understood what I said perfectly :'D
• Treviso, 2011. I was standing with a friend near the backstage of a club, hoping to meet the members of W.A.S.P. after their concert. We were peacefully chatting, minding our own business, when at some point I heard someone saying "excuse me" in English. I looked around. My friend did the same. Nobody was there. We ignored the voice. After two seconds, we heard it again: "Please, excuse me..." the voice was much closer, this time, and it was... somewhere below us? We looked down. It was the drummer of the band who was trying to get into the backstage. The dude was so short neither me nor my friend had seen him. What's funny is that we didn't even realize that it was the drummer until he got into the building :'D so, well... meeting achieved, except that it wasn't much of a meeting and we both ended up looking like two complete assholes :'D (but hey, at least I got to apologize to the man later on. I discovered that he was on Facebook, sent him a friend request apologizing for what happened... and he accepted the request so there's that ^_^)