Anybody actually telling you "you should do x" is overstepping imo, and while it absolutely is frustrating, I feel free to mentally think "lol nah" and ignore the demand.
But people yelling JUST KISS HIM might be actually wanting that to happen, or they might just be expressing excitement. Like, if you're watching a horror movie and getting really into it, and the protagonist walks up to a creepy house, and you yell "NO!!!!! DONT GO INSIDE!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" and then the movie somehow hears you say that, and makes the character change their mind and leave the creepy house alone and never come back, you'd be extremely disappointed! That wasn't what you wanted the story to do, not really -- you were just excited and in the moment and feeling desperately for the protagonist.
So I sometimes think of myself a bit villainously in this way -- like, obviously, there's the voice in my head going "haha omg i hope you guys dont hate this ;v; ...." and I definitely do worry, but when I'm doing something that I know will go against reader desires, or when someone starts shipping something that I know isn't going to work out, I like to think of myself smiling serenely and tenting my fingers like some kinda evil mastermind. Trying to look at it as "muahahaha I'm going to make you wait~!" even if I feel like "ahhhhh you guys want this to happen but it's going to take forever ahhhhhhhh...."
For your situation specifically, I wanna mention a fanfiction I read once that, despite being weird non-canon human AU homestuck fanfiction, stuck with me over the years. It was written for a smut prompt, and the author apologised often for not "getting to the action" as she took 7 or 8 chapters to quietly build up this relationship -- and then in chapter nine, for the first time, the characters held hands. Her readers were screaming, one yelling that they didn't understand how these two characters just interlocking fingers could be as intense as if they'd actually done something steamy.
That comment stays with me. Even people who are primarily there for the make-outs can appreciate the power of what slow burn does for a story.