Based on what I remember, this blurb is much better. There are some grammatical errors in there I'd recommend you fix and perhaps a sentence or two that can be edited, but it is significantly improved compared to the previous version. Great job on that.
As for the first chapter, I'm afraid I don't remember in detail what it looked like before, but I think the things I pointed out are still there. You have a long exposition that feels like a bit of an info dump or something that's being described from a distance. The thing is, when you're telling a story, you almost never meet a character at the beginning of their life. We meet them at a certain point that was preceded by different events that shapes them. They're already a person, with a personality, belief system and an internal emotional world that was shaped by their life. This whole process, of what shaped a character's personality before we meet them, is rarely something that's laid out for us chronologically. Rather, we learn it throughout the story, in bits and pieces. That is because the story focuses on the journey a character goes through from the moment we meet them, and until they learn the lesson they need to learn. Everything that comes before and after it isn't a part of the plot.
I think you can start things with a small flashback that gives us some insight into how and why a character is when we meet them, but what you have right now feels a bit too long and unnecessary - especially since it sounds like Theo is going to be transformed into another world, where the majority of the plot takes places. This seems to be your inciting incident, and the beginning of Theo's journey.
What I can suggest is to try and define those things to yourself: what is the story you're telling? What's the start point, the end point, and what does your main character go through and learn between them, as well as how it all changes him. Everything that came before it and shaped him into who he is when we first meet him can be shown in more subtle way, through dialogue, actions and thoughts. This isn't always an easy thing to do - it takes time, effort and planning to figure those things out, so don't get discouraged if it sounds like a lot. It often is. But it often works in layers too, where you start relatively shallow and gradually go deeper, and the more you'll consider those things, the more things will become clear. I really think that if you start thinking of those things it'll also help you clear up your plot, message, and writing.
