I suppose I'll answer the first one (sorry it's a suuuper lengthy, idk how much detail you want)-
In 8th grade, graduating middle school, we were given the option to look into choice schools (lottery-based specialty public schools that you have to apply for). There are 3 choice high schools in my area- the first two were obviously a no, and the third was a stand-alone STEM school. I didn't dislike the primary public school in the area and so I planned to go there, but I figured I might as well apply for the third one. I thought it wouldn't make sense for me to decide if I wanted to go before winning the lottery, so I decided to put my name in and then if I was chosen I would decide to go.
A few months later my dad texted me and let me know the results were in. I thought it over for the rest of the school day if I wanted to get in and by the time I headed home I had made up my mind- I didn't want to go. This school was so focused on STEM it had a singular art credit, no health class, and no gym. While I wasn't yet interested in making comics back then, art, drawing, and writing were big parts of my life. I'm also a wicked dodgeball player and I didn't want to imagine school without gym class. So I came home and peeked into my dad's office. He asked me what I wanted to hear and I presented him with my final decision: I didn't want to get in. Then my mom burst out from her studio with a big hug exclaiming "you're number 6 on the waiting list! you'll be in for sure!"
I begged my parents for months to not make me go. Up until the first day of school I told my friends I would see them at the public school. I didn't want to go to this small nerd school with its aspiring aerospace engineer and surgeon students and its 3 elective classes. I wanted to attend the public school where I could take AP Art, Creative Writing, Marketing. But time and time again my parents turned me down. Honestly, I felt kinda crushed. I knew I would be getting a much better education than my friends at the public school, but it wasn't the kind of education I was seeking. I felt bad for being ungrateful, but I really just needed an environment that provided opportunities that fit me, not opportunities to fit my parents' idea of the brilliant science whiz I should be.
Now it's a few years later. I tried to go community college early last year with a state program and take some art classes, but my parents turned it down. This year I'm starting my college apps, and it's hopeless. I've seen video after video of accepted RISD, CalArts, and Pratt portfolios and sketchbooks. And I have nothing. It's not that I haven't been practicing; I draw on all my notes and in my sketchbook religiously. But I don't have the same opportunities to make use of that practice as the creators of those portfolios. I don't have AP Art to make a portfolio, or AP Photography to practice composition. I'm scrambling to even get my second art credit in. I wish my parents could've accepted that sure, STEM might be an amazing opportunity, but maybe it's not the opportunity I needed. I have met a lot of great friends and made a lot of great memories at that school, but overall the feelings of hopelessness and despair remain hovering over the prospect of my future college.
Summary: Scrappy art nerd says boo-hoo because she has to go to a smart kid school
