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Dec 2015

Hey, David.

Wednesday here, I'll bite.

Puts editor hat on

Well for one there's a massive typo over the title screen, "Life is Beautifl"(!) and why I mention that first is because it is the most distracting thing on the comic, it threatens to undermine the rest of the content you worked so hard to make and it deserve your top priority.

Plot is okay, it introduces the main protagonist as a 2nd Chance Agent, its understandable, while not exactly relatable but you did tell a story from beginning to end so thats good. Decent characterization to establish that he is perhaps non-chalant about his job (picking the nose, flat experession), its okay. The 2nd Chance of the week story is a bit hokey, but im sure you'll come up with more engaging situations that this for next time.

Art is fine for what it is, but coloring could be better lots of clashing colors, green/purple the shades dont quite work as the 2nd Chancer drives in his car kinda made me a little sick.

So in conclusion fine first attempt at a strip, looking forward for more.

P.S. check out the strip im working on, far from perfect of course smile
http://tapastic.com/series/cloverlines6

P.P.S. Are you indonesian?