First thing first, I'm not good with grammar so I can't really tell, and here's some things that make me disinterested starting from when I'm viewing the description.
- you didn't really take the spacing right.
Yours :
Mark is passionate and doesn't let his flaws hold him back.Akio is flawless on the surface.However,when they both cross paths,they are lead through a series of rape,drugs and even murder.Could these individuals be hiding more than there seems to be?
Fixed :
Mark is passionate and doesn't let his flaws hold him back. Akio is flawless on the surface, however, when they both cross paths, they are lead through a series of rape ,drugs and even murder. Could these individuals be hiding more than there seems to be?
You gotta put space after periods, comma, etc... And caps lock the words on place.
I can't really say much because I'm not much of a critic, but this is the things I can pointed out.
As a reader, I could only say that this splash down my fire to read.
Good luck with your stories if you're going to rewrite though.
(and nice kizuna AI there)