I will review first chapter of your novel

Toastbuster 2021-08-24 17:39:47 UTC #12

I’m always down for some feedback. Thanks for the offer!

kmatsanga007 2021-08-24 21:47:31 UTC #13

Hey feel free to read mine.

An_Alias 2021-08-25 00:19:49 UTC #14

Hello! I'm writing the first draft of this and am unsure how the intro reads. The first chapter is split up into two parts. Don't feel like you have to be nice or anything, I'm fine with harsh feedback!
Genre: Horror/Drama/Paranormal

Daisy 2021-08-25 00:39:26 UTC #15

I want to hear your thoughts about my novel

fragmented 2021-08-25 04:51:35 UTC #16

hey. thank you
here's my novel

claudelseth 2021-08-25 04:51:53 UTC #17

Thank you for this opportunity.
This is really not my first Novel but in this kind of genre which is BL it is my first...

Saint01 2021-08-25 05:52:59 UTC #18

My story(web novel):

Inspired by works such as Ghost in the Shell, Ergo Proxy, Serial Experiments Lain, and Akira, Technocyte: Beyond Human follows Detectives Beatrice Alice Moreau and Jay Lee Jones, an amnesiac man named Sherlock Lawson, and a mysterious young girl named Mina in a cyberpunk/ dystopian like setting as they uncover the truth behind Sherlock's elusive past and his connection to the Technocytes, enhanced humans who are able to morph metal around their bodies and manipulate technology, and the organization responsible for creating them known as SANCTUARY.

satarestar777 2021-08-25 11:27:01 UTC #19

My first suggestion would be that you should change your cover, as it doesn't give anything about the story. You should try putting some characters at least your main character and your city in the background.
Again gangs and stuff always attract me and your storytelling is amazing, I was hooked by the mono itself. And you have art for creating suspense and curiosity. I mean now I wanna know what the main character is going to do now.
The things that didn't stand out were (i) short chapters (ii) some confusing lines.
overall it was a good chapter but it should have been long. It's a solid 7/10 for me.
5.Thank you. I hope I wasn't too harsh.

EchoMan 2021-08-25 11:55:39 UTC #20

No problem . Thanks for the review, feel free to subscribe if you like it:

Ainsel 2021-08-25 17:32:10 UTC #21

Thank you very much! I'll jump on while I can

mrtoontastic 2021-08-25 17:59:24 UTC #22

This sounds fantastic! Say, could you review my novel here?

Thanks again.

DemonicHeaven 2021-08-25 18:00:30 UTC #23

Love that kind of idea.

limitlesssan 2021-08-25 19:11:04 UTC #25

Thank you very much!!

MShadowlawn 2021-08-25 19:43:54 UTC #26

Here you go!

*Technically, the first chapter (Lament) is pretty short. You might want to read it plus the one after that (Street Life) to get a more well-rounded impression.

Pony_wearing_a_hat 2021-08-25 19:59:45 UTC #27

Ooh! I'm interested if you have time!

lumisullivan 2021-08-25 22:32:50 UTC #28

Here's my novel, it's about a girl that reverses time in order to save her friends life

crowstories 2021-08-26 14:43:26 UTC #29

Thanks for the offer! Here's mine:

Wocalich 2021-08-26 17:35:51 UTC #30

Thank you for the offer! Here's my story, I hope you like it

Scatter 2021-08-26 19:45:43 UTC #31

Here's my story it's the first I've done in awhile.
https://tapas.io/episode/2274572

extazybomb 2021-08-26 21:39:03 UTC #32

I still think my first chapter is actually the weakest...but, here we go. lol