20 / 29
May 2024

"Larvae"

Second time reviewing this, so here we go --

I like the used colors, but one of the things that don't really match them was the used font for the background SFX (I am talking about the brush and it's color, just simple typing with good font should be enough):

And for the rest, I wouldn't change anything.

Thank you for you feedback. Yes, I’m a person who likes making a lot of world building to not leave plot holes, but in general I did this because the latter chapters will be only about battles and fighting. I’m trying to find a good balance of both, but maybe that’s the thing I lack as a beginner author. I’ll try to work on it.
I like that the story reminded you of Percy Jackson, basically this was a fanfiction in the PJO world that I rewrote after a long session of studying anatomy and 3 Red Bull.
Again, thank you so much.

One thing that I noticed was the way you are not explaining to the readers what is happening exactly, just like the other reviewed stories, your story introduces directly into a pace of an already started story. A bit of a background would help me a lot and other readers to understand what was happening.

A recommendation would be to introduce the characters, the pacing and what can we expect from the second episode.

One thing that bothered me was the contrast for a few pages.

This one is an example of which I think that the contrast was too lowered (or maybe I'm dumb and that's just the brush xD)

For the rest, I like the way of using the "fused-panels" in different aspects, really clever, and the art looks good <:slight_smile:

The story starts off directly into the action, into which I think is a war setting? (maybe?)

There wasn't very much explanation for the world around or the development of the characters that play a part for the first chapter.

One last thing that I noticed is that the story started out too abruptly and the first chapter ended in a cliffhanger, which is really good as a build-up for the next chapter.

Here's my new novel if you're interested. It is the sequel to my other novel Grand Epic Elemental.
Since Chapter 1 is mainly a recap of events from the first novel, you may want to review Chapter 2 instead.