Hello! Thank you for sharing your story!
Okay, so not a lot happens in the first chapter, which is just setting the scene and introducing the characters. It needs a hook, something to make readers want to read on. Right now, it relies on readers wanting to know who these characters are, but there's not enough about the characters introduced for that motivation to be enough. The second chapter ends in a more interesting note and since both chapters are very short, you might consider combining them.
The writing's pretty good, though some more vivid descriptions would do a lot to provide a better picture and to set the mood. Like in the start of the first chapter, you mention the desert and the caravan, but you don't describe much about it.
The wind whistled across the dunes.
In the vast expanse of the desert, the caravan made it's way westward.
At the head of the caravan was a figure dressed in a brown cloak riding a horse. He was wearing a weimao(veiled hat) to keep the sand from blowing into his face. The rest of the caravan was composed of horses, merchants, and their wares.
You could build that short bit up to set the mood and scene:
The wind whistled across the dunes, scattering sand that glistened like finely ground gold beneath the blinding light of the sun.
A caravan made its way westward, across the vast expanse of the desert. Blistering heat washed down over them, distorting the landscape around them until the dunes danced in the distance.
At the head of the caravan, a figure rode atop a horse, brown cloak shifting in the breeze. The veil of his weimao kept the sand away from his face along with the worst of the heat. Behind him, the rest of the caravan followed, a cacophony of horses and merchants with their many wares--colorful fabrics, jewels that glistened in the sun, and herbs with fragrances sweet and soft.
Now we get a clearer picture with more sensory details thrown into the mix. The other point I wanted to mention and kinda addressed in the rewrite is the way you explain the terms for clothing and food like weimao and chapan. In a lot of cases, we can get an idea of what the words mean from context alone, and in others you can provide that context easily. In the second chapter, for example, you can just describe the foods more like you did with the samsa. The description of that dish was very smoothly integrated into the story with great sensory details so I know you can do it!
If you feel like you need to include the definitions, you can provide that in the author notes at the bottom like you did in the first chapter when explaining about the eyes. And that's pretty much the last thing I wanted to comment on. You mentioned this is an adaptation of your comic and I can see that in the way the descriptions are very minimal and straightforward. You rely a lot on the visual aspects of it and not enough on the other senses or on using descriptions to add to the tone and mood of the story, which could really make the story shine, given the interesting setting of the story. You did a really good job, for example, in describing the palace in the first chapter and getting a cross the idea of opulence in that location.
It's definitely an interesting setting, but from the two chapters that I read I don't really get an idea of where the story is going and there's no conflict or real hook. The writing is generally good and there weren't really spots where I had to pause or anything. Like I mentioned earlier, the second chapter ends in a more interesting note and I do want to see how that scene continues because it's funny and I want to read about how Leiyu reacts. Poor Leiyu, not the first impression he wanted to make, lol.
But yeah, I think you're doing a good job, but the first chapters need a bit of building up to make them really grab onto readers' attention.