This is a solid comic, but I imagine the slow-paced opening, which has a sort of oldschool print comics vibe, might be a bit of a hard sell on webtoons and Tapas, speaking from experience.
Areas I'd improve would be to watch for the density of lines and the value and saturation in the backgrounds. The lines are tending to be of a similar line weight to the foreground characters and it makes panels feel a bit busy, and the colours on both characters and backgrounds are sitting in a similar mid-tone band of saturation and value. Lighter or darker backgrounds and either more saturation on characters (this is what I'd suggest because the skintones are a little grey) or less on the backgrounds would help the characters pop, especially on panels where the dappled light is creating even more complexity. Your drawing fundamentals are clearly strong, professional level (do you have an animation degree by any chance? Something about your drawing style with the slight disney feel and very strong emphasis on expressive key poses screams "animation degree"), so your readability in a comics context is the area I'd highlight for specific improvement.
The storytelling is maybe a little slow-paced, at times it reads like I'm looking at the storyboard to an animation. I bet this would be awesome to read in print, but in long scroll, it feels a bit arduous, because the travel distance between panels isn't just moving your eyes a fraction, it's physical scrolling, so everything feels slower than it would in print. It's not bad moment-to-moment style storytelling at all, it's just possibly a bit of a tough read on these modern, scroll-focused platforms.