I mostly agree with what @Kelheor said, other than I don't mind the art style - many stories I like combine cutesy art styles and chibi proportions with dark and disturbing content. (Also, hi fellow DSP fan! )
Not sure if my attempt at feedback will be any useful to you, but since I went and read the chapter, I'd try to say something. Take it with a grain of salt though, these all just my opinions.
I rather like your art style (I can tell the DSP influence in your designs, but they also don't look like complete copycats), and the color choices and overall aesthetic. The banner art is really nice, I like it a lot.
If I could say something critical here, it'd be mostly that the perspective and proportions of characters and objects sometimes are all over the place - for example, in this panel
Other than that, the poses are stiff and/or unnatural in several panels - I think doing a lot of gesture drawing, even from photos, would help in making the poses you draw feel more lively.
Also, your art looks pretty flat - I can't really pinpoint what causes this impression One possible culprit is the thick linework - it looks kind of distracting to me since there isn't a lot of variation in line weight. It could also be how the shading is often just there and doesn't seem to indicate any depth, particularly on clothes.
edit: Okay I guess you didn't exactly ask for critique on your art, so sorry if I got a bit carried away with it! Again, take it with a grain of salt.
Okay now for the story. I don't think your writing is bad - but it's notably slow-paced.
We don't know why Jamie ended up in the demons' house, or what was he doing before that - I get this is intended to be an important mystery, but I think dropping some more hints / foreshadowing about it would help to make the reader want to know the answer. Page 7 was a good start for it. (I really like the art in this page btw.)
I didn't find most of the demon house inhabitants likeable - there isn't much known about them, other than them being mostly jerks and wanting to harm Jamie (which contradicts how Alexis said most demons aren't evil and he can trust them, but I will assume that was intentional). Not much reason to care about them for now. Just watching a group of jerks talk isn't very entertaining unless it's extremely funny, which it isn't here to me. I think swearing is fine to use as an element of characterization, but as attempts at humor it's rather juvenile.
Maybe you could try making it clearer in the comic what is the overarching story you're telling? Slice of life vignettes are good and all, but if there isn't any notable conflict or no change of status quo in them, the reader can get bored quickly.
Good to know the future chapters will be shorter and hopefully more concise - honestly, from my own experience, it's surprising how much superficial dialogue and minor scenes can be cut without really affecting the story.
Ok maybe the rest of this post doesn't sound like it, but I think your comic shows promise and there's already a lot to like in it - you should try promoting it more. (I can't give you any good tips on how to do it since I'm myself pretty terrible at it, sorry... )