Despite swearing a lot on here and in real life, I don't have anything interesting to share I don't think.
I actually say things that aren't really swears when shit starts getting real.
"God, I'm so cheesed!"
"Are you stepping on my corn flakes right now?"
And because it always makes my kids laugh:
"This really boils my milk."
"That really eats my shoe."
"That really burns my water."
"This really inflates my oregano."
And so on.