LGBTapas! December Invite

[miss.monocle]

As I've said in my other reply to TAM regarding this subject, I don't want to air out the reasons as to why people were kicked, as it often involves other users as well and I respect their privacy. With regards to you, people were already uncomfortable. I will not mention who those people are. Because yes, what you said was a joke, but to others, they perceived it as the same sort of jokes used against their identities.

Again, this is a private server and we have the right to add and remove whom we choose. In most cases, it was just for inactivity because we needed to update our server. In some cases, it was for other reasons. We aren't an official website or organization. If you aren't invited in or back in, that's just how it goes for every other server.

[TAMAnnoying]

I’m glad and I hope that becomes clear to a lot more people, tho as a mod in another server I hope you guys are read for the potainial of just a lot of people getting upset with you for the same reasons you where upset with a lot of other LGBT servers, inclusivity is very hard to do with strict guidelines that not everyone agrees with; for example I’m saying this now because it’s been bugging me for years: attack helicopters was always a shot a furries 15 years ago, and thus people might not comprehend why that would upset trans or NB if they’ve never interacted before (and possibly be trying to discover their own identity, this is especially prevalent in young people who are trying to discover themselves but are socially inept so they will make tasteless jokes thinking that’s what works to be socially liked) warnings might be a better idea then flat out kicks for that reason.

As others have said you can do what you want and enjoy yourself I just want to say my piece in hopes of helping the inclusiveness especially with the younger and more socially inept folks like me if you don’t care and enjoy the potential drama by advertising on the forums then go for it, but as it’s been mentioned many many times we have a younger audience on the forums and we gotta take that into consideration when we do things

[DiegoPalacios]

Because yes, what you said was a joke, but to others, they perceived it as the same sort of jokes used against their identities.

I never meant to make anyone uncomfortable, that is why i deleted it. I thought it was clarified when i talked to @darthmongoose

However, that doesn't change the fact that just right now @snailienz lied about me and accused me of being one of those "i identify as an helicopter" types.

[snailienz]

Maybe I misremembered, someone definitely did and it was around the time you came in. They used the joke in their bio before being let in.

[DiegoPalacios]

Okay, please be more careful next time, i'm not a big fan of being slandered

[Bree_Mana]

Heya I couldn't find any of your work on tapas or webtoon, just wanted to ask if you have a project in the works! (It can be a WIP that hasn't been posted anywhere yet)

[raeguardart]

Hello! I'd like to join the server

[miss.monocle]

You should have an invite in your DM's!

[CoffeeandCats]

Hi! I'd like to join the server! i just got back into tapas and would like to immerse more into it, this seems like a good way to do it!

[Bree_Mana]

Heya I couldn't find any of your work on tapas or webtoon, just wanted to ask if you have a project in the works! (It can be a WIP that hasn't been posted anywhere yet!)

[darthmongoose]

Uuuuurgghhh okay let me clear this up as best I can...

People DID vent about you a bit. Because everyone was like "SERIOUSLY!?" when you immediately started ANOTHER bloody thread on BL when one had just been closed because it went so horribly wrong. Then people stopped because everyone decided mentioning people by name was negative and unsafe, and then people said nice things about you because it did seem like you were genuinely trying to understand and the threads hadn't turned into the expected trashfire (but I imagine, whoever was whispering on the "gossip" never told you about those parts because that wouldn't be nearly so salacious now, would it, people saying "oh okay maybe he actually is just curious and he seems to be trying his best to understand, that's a relief"?).

That conversation and your being removed had no relationship. It was mainly because people had realised there was a leak on the server. Somebody was clearly telling people outside the server everything that was being said that they thought might stir up drama, and when your server is meant to be a safe space for open discussion, including voicing concerns and frustration about stuff that affects our community, that's not good. Especially when this was exactly when I was being targeted by somebody who'd been removed for a history of problematic behaviour. Our mods could see that certain users were trying to invite people in from outside in order to spark confrontation (specifically the people who were being discussed and also people who had made really inflammatory posts or had a history of them). There was clearly a leak and everyone was worried about it, so a number of users who were red flags because they were lurking or had said something that seemed even slightly sketchy, problematic or made people even a little uncomfortable were removed.

An overreaction? Yes, probably, but combined with rules saying mention nobody by name when ranting, which later moved up to "don't complain about anything, there's no venting channel any more" stopped the issues we had with people not actually interested in our community desperately trying to join the server and the very negative, confrontational discussions that were causing drama. There may have been some people who were removed who actually would have been fine. You probably would have been fine, honestly, but at the time, everyone was upset and frustrated and just wanted all the drama to stop.

[DiegoPalacios]

People DID vent about you a bit. Because everyone was like "SERIOUSLY!?" when you immediately started ANOTHER bloody thread on BL when one had just been closed because it went so horribly wrong. Then people stopped because everyone decided mentioning people by name was negative and unsafe, and then people said nice things about you because it did seem like you were genuinely trying to understand and the threads hadn't turned into the expected trashfire (but I imagine, whoever was whispering on the "gossip" never told you about those parts because that wouldn't be nearly so salacious now, would it, people saying "oh okay maybe he actually is just curious and he seems to be trying his best to understand, that's a relief"?).

Thanks for being honest about it......

Especially when this was exactly when I was being targeted by somebody who'd been removed for a history of problematic behaviour.

......that's horrifying....hope it ended and hope you are okay.....also....hope that person is outside Tapas.

That conversation and your being removed had no relationship. It was mainly because people had realised there was a leak on the server. Somebody was clearly telling people outside the server everything that was being said that they thought might stir up drama, and when your server is meant to be a safe space for open discussion, including voicing concerns and frustration about stuff that affects our community, that's not good. Especially when this was exactly when I was being targeted by somebody who'd been removed for a history of problematic behaviour. Our mods could see that certain users were trying to invite people in from outside in order to spark confrontation (specifically the people who were being discussed and also people who had made really inflammatory posts or had a history of them). There was clearly a leak and everyone was worried about it, so a number of users who were red flags because they were lurking or had said something that seemed even slightly sketchy, problematic or made people even a little uncomfortable were removed.

It just happen that i wanted to join the discord server to verify if the rumors were true, because in my book, strong accusations require strong evidence.....But it just happened that access was blocked and just happened that some new requirements were added JUST when i got in.....so things didn't look pretty.

Anyway, the timing gave a really bad impression.
To be fair, you (or other users) could have told new users about the safety issue to explain why no one was getting in.

An overreaction? Yes, probably, but combined with rules saying mention nobody by name when ranting, which later moved up to "don't complain about anything, there's no venting channel any more" stopped the issues we had with people not actually interested in our community desperately trying to join the server and the very negative, confrontational discussions that were causing drama. There may have been some people who were removed who actually would have been fine. You probably would have been fine, honestly, but at the time, everyone was upset and frustrated and just wanted all the drama to stop.

The history of "the bitching thread" repeated itself, . Glad the mods in the server realized the issues it was causing.

Carrying the name of Tapas on the server means a huge responsibility. That kind of behavior could have given a bad impression to new people or outsiders about what Tapas is really about.

I know sometimes is hard to keep a cool head, but for the sake of a positive community, is important that the people in charge are able to keep things in perspective and check the whole story before jumping into any conclusion.

[siluscomics]

Uuuh, can I join please? I've never had a Discord before so I hope I wont be too annoying though!

[darthmongoose]

Carrying the name of Tapas on the server means a huge responsibility. That kind of behavior could have given a bad impression to new people or outsiders about what Tapas is really about.

I know sometimes is hard to keep a cool head, but for the sake of a positive community, is important that the people in charge are able to keep things in perspective and check the whole story before jumping into any conclusion.

Let's just say lessons were learned. The server was started with good intentions by very nice, open-hearted people who hadn't run a server before and things got out of hand because not much thought had gone into possible problems, then some pretty quick and drastic measures were needed to rein it all in when things got out of hand. I'm sorry that this was a negative experience due to you being tangled up in it personally. Efforts have been made to improve things going forward.

[KimBryanArt]

Uh, hi, may this ace person receive an invite? Thanks

[DiegoPalacios]

thanks, i appreciate it.

[Gleamiarts]

I'm making a comic at the moment but I'm building a buffer and that's why it's not out yet

[indagold]

I'm lgbt and have some lgbt themed comics so i'm interested. Can you share comics in there that aren't on tapas? Cause I have some lgbt ones that aren't.

[joannekwan]

[joannekwan]

Closed upon OP's request