Lunch Tiiime: A humble request for a review

[lunchtiiime12]

Hey everyone,

Comic Link

Now that we have our art straightened out, a full time artist, and a script written and 25 pages published - I think we're ready for a review. We have so many questions about this comic; what people think, how's it going, if there's anything we should change, etc.

We have sadly noticed a decline in interest since we rebooted the art. We have not been able to hit the trending or popular pages since, though we feel there has been a dramatic improvement in quality - which has left us scratching our heads. Granted, we did have a long break to re-draw 10 pages which can be really bad, but we are rolling again now. One thing, I think that has caused an issue is that the new art is very different from the old art. Not even comparable. I think that the art is so different, the original audience that we built is no longer interested - but not unsubscribing, and as a result we have a good sized audience of people that no longer read it, and that leads to us coming nowhere near the top (or even being mentioned) in the trending and popular pages.

So we would like honest reviews and advice, suggestions, whatever. If you are a professional reviewer, and want payment for a thorough review, please message me.

Thanks,

AD + LT team

[El_Psy_Congroo]

Can you give examples of the original pages?

[lunchtiiime12]

Sure!

[El_Psy_Congroo]

Was there as much fan service originally as there is now? Because it might be the people got really turned off by it in your new stuff.

[lunchtiiime12]

If that's the case, nobody is saying such. In fact, a lot of people have said how much they love the improvements.

Regardless of the change in art style - I'm very humbly requesting a review of the comic as it stands now, because the old artist could not keep up with the demands and is unfortunately unavailable.

[El_Psy_Congroo]

I'm not personally bothered by the fan service - I think the art is amazing too - but perhaps some are turned off by it and haven't said anything.

If its not that, it might have just been the break you took to get it to that level. People sometimes unsubscribe when there is no update. Other than that, perhaps now's the time where people are starting or preparing for school again. I've experienced a slow down of readership myself on Line.

I wouldn't be too worried - I actually saw this comic earlier on the front page somewhere and had it open in a tab for a day or two already. So I think you may need to give it some time.

[heterodont]

I was expecting the fan service to be worse, but surprisingly its okay. Granted, I don't like fan service even if it ''fits'' in the situation - so there's a small possibility some potential readers are getting turned off by it.

If there's one thing I noticed, is that it's confusing to read. It may be just me, but there are certain pages where it seems that the artist wants the reader read left-to-right and others where the reader needs to read right-to-left - is it because it's meant to be read in a printed format? because it's just a headache to figure out where I needed to start reading a page, and I had to go back a lot just to figure out if I read the page properly or not and it ruined the flow of reading for me. An example is the first 'page' of both "People that Matter" followed by "I'm useful, you're stupid!". My guess is because the SFX of the car is right on the left and it's demanding attention, which is why my eye goes to it first, so when I go to the next page my eye immediately goes to the left and I'm immediately confused as to why there's suddenly a club form. thus if "People that Matter!" is supposed to be read the other way around - the position of the SFX is screwing that up.

Art-wise, the characters look kinda samey :l same body type and same facial structure even (i'm going to chalk that up to the style of it however) I couldn't tell erin? and thyme? apart. characters that don't have colors to separate them it's more important to make them more varied because it's easier for the reader to point out "oh! that's (so and so)!" and not get confused as to who's in a scene

writing wise, something seems..off about it. I'm no expert on writing but something about it comes off as forced and kinda rushed in a way?

[jdthomaswriter]

From what I am able to immediately notice in the first few pages:

(1) I'm okay with fan-service to a point - not my forte but acceptable.
(2) Writing. The pacing is a bit off. It's choppy at best in the first few pages.
(3) Art. The artists here are definitely talented to say the least. But there are some anatomical and aesthetic issues here.
(4) Paneling. Writing and Art both fit in this point of feedback. Proper paneling with proper pacing with the writing is key. As I said, it's kind of choppy.

With that said, it's almost there. Meaning, there's room for improvements but it's not a dramatic change needed. One cannot work without the other.

Notes:

(1) Tighten up on pacing with the writing.
(2) Focus more on correcting your figures anatomical features. (Slight adjustments here and there but nothing as far as revamping an entire page or panel).
(3) Think of musical beats (flow) when it comes to paneling. Each page should end with a solid transition in to the next page.

[lunchtiiime12]

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. Yes, you are absolutely correct about the awkwardness of left to right. Strangely, our artist is from the R-L region, but still has trouble. The script, many times, is adjusted to accommodate his art, which adds to the clumsiness. Eventually I'll re-write many pages to make the flow better, and we'll insert pages for the final print jobs.

Thanks for the consideration and feedback. It's funny how when you want to go higher quality, everything has a higher standard. If you have great art, people expect great writing. They expect flow, good panel usage, etc. When you just scribble, everyone's like "perfect!"

Anyway. Thanks very much for your time everyone.