Alright, where do I start?
1) Your Art work
Please, kindly work on your art work. I didn't even look at the first page, and I already disliked it.
In all honesty, just work on your drawing skills! Please, kindly note this; If you plan to be serious with your book one day, you will need to work harder! People would need their 'pennies' worth. After all, they all worked hard for it.
Please, kindly consider it. Once it's done, I maybe you will see a change in your comic.
Hope I was able to help, good luck bud!
Also, please, feel free to checkout my book, 'The Creator's Bloodline'. It's a high fantasy book which offers a lot.
Feel free to like, share, and subscribe.
All the best,
Olisa.