Noob comic artist looking for crits

[iaclos]

So, I’m a working illustrator who’s interested to become a comic artist.
I have no problem in writing the story, and tried to draw a page of my comic (second page of the first chapter) and asked around for crits... because God knows I need them.

So if I may ask, please criticize my comic page!
So far, what I got (from friends) are:
- are you sure you want to be this masochistic?
- sfx and motion fx (those lines which symbolize movements)
- bg too empty
- too smooth, add texture
- go for descriptive more, instead of ornamental (bg)
- text bubble should be horizontal instead of vertical

I agree with those crits, in case my friends missed some... pls help! kowtow

Btw, the greens in the first panel was added sloppily after the crits, please forgive the sloppiness bows

[Rin_sugarawa]

The artstyle is so great not gonna lie

[montrasimartina]

Hi! ^^
Your style is solid and your tecnique is really good.
I reccomend you to put a little less details in faces (A lot of the details are lost with the resolution) and adding some backgrounds. I know that background and perspective can be hard, but the page (which is already really good) will gain a lot of atmosphere ^^
Hope this helps!

I leave here the link of my webcomic to show you how I work: As You see, color palettes and backgrounds help a lot to describe the scene! ^^

https://tapas.io/series/An-Interns-Tale

[VibrantFox]

The art here is definitely solid but it'll be up to you to decide if that's something you can handle for consistent updates unless you're building yourself a buffer before posting. What I think could use some attention is the eye flow as you're reading, because as I'm scanning the page the panels suggests reading one way while the speech bubble placement kind of suggests another. I haven't got the best examples to show how to improve it but maybe (if you're okay with it) someone could do a bit of redlining to show how to improve the flow a bit

[iaclos]

Damn!
Your bg is to die for! Mine looks like talking heads compared to yours!
(subscribed your comic off course)

And I completely forgot about color scheme... that’s rather stupid of me ^^;;

[iaclos]

Deffo building buffer, I’m still too slow atm, when I’m able to do a chapter (according to my storyboard, 40-50 panels) in a week, then I’ll publish the comic.

Hmmm, flow, got it.

Btw, what do you think, should I draw panels side by side, or should I stay strictly vertical. By side by side I mean like my 2nd and 3rd panel, should I let it like that, or should I move the 3rd panel below the 2nd?

[montrasimartina]

That's not true, We've different styles and yours is very good!
Thank you! I'll subscribe to yours when You'll publish it, I'm intrigued and the quality is very good! ^^
To me,The colors are really good! There's a cold atmosphere and I like it! ^^

[VibrantFox]

I'm not sure how much you already have done so it's come down to how much your willing to rearrange if you do opt for vertical style. Personally I'd thing scroll format might work for your art since it'd give the detail a bit more time to shine and help with the pace of reading but again that'll be up to you .

As for what you've got it helps when the art and the text bubbles flow together. Looking at the page this is roughly how the eye flows (at least for me):

the things that kind of interrupt the flow or end up being missed if reading quickly were these things for me (though someone else could spot differently):

like i'd said what you have in terms of style and presentation look really good it's just a few tweaks here and there with regards to placement. Keep it up!