I feel his gaze as he takes in the reality. The scars.
I’m not as pretty as I was on his screen saver, am I?
This time when I turn around, he knows I caught him staring.
“I don’t remember that dress,” he says a little breathlessly, smiling brightly, “It’s nice.”
I look at him, sour, my jaw set, and roll my eyes. His expression ebbs from one of surprise and confusion to almost worry. I catch him leaning forward in his chair as I start to turn away.
“Hey, ‘Lise…”
I cut him off - pretending I didn’t hear him, “Have you had anything to eat, yet?”
He looks at me for a minute in silent frustration - no that’s not fair - though he tries to hide it, I can tell it’s disappointment - maybe even hurt - before leaning back in his chair in weary defeat.
“No,” he sighs, “ Not yet.” He waves one thin hand toward the kitchen with a delicate lift of his wrist, “The caregivers served me breakfast earlier, but I’m sick and tired of soup and casserole. I’ve been working up the strength to make myself a sandwich, but that’s going…”
He covers his face with one hand and raises his shoulders like he’s trying to shrug off the unbearable exhaustion.
“It’s the painkillers,” he explains, “They make me sluggish and…numb.”
I can almost hear the wheels churning - the voices whispering -
But what difference does that make?
“I’ll make you a sandwich,” I say quickly, and head into the kitchen.
Kattar wheels himself into the dining room as I pull out the peanut butter and jelly. The ‘help’ has kept his pantries well stocked, though it’s questionable how much cooking he’s been able to manage from the weird angle he’s trapped at, in his chair.
I figure I’ll do the dishes too, since the cleaners won’t be back until tomorrow.
I hand him the plate and I start to turn back toward the kitchen, but hear him laugh-
“What? You didn’t trim the crusts off! The service at this place is terrible!”
I decide to ignore him, rolling my eyes and heading back to the kitchen, but with a “Hey-” he reaches out and tries to snag me by the sash, which comes undone, and slides unceremoniously to the floor.
