Quit Writing BADLY! :D

[scribesunlimited]

YOU! Don't be these people. You are better than that!

[Abel]

“She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes before it throws up.”

This is pretty much my laugh, sadly.

[scribesunlimited]

“She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes before it throws up.”

How about:
"She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh which reminded me that I'd never seen the porn movie, "Deep Throat."

[aqua03]

Half of these read like jokes I'd come up with for my stories.... Especially "The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object..."

[kmlangleyauthor]

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

This is my all-time favorite bad analogy it makes me laugh every time I see it

[scribesunlimited]

Half of these read like jokes I'd come up with for my stories.... Especially "The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object..."

I think I like "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." most.

[aqua03]

That one's good, too. My other favorite is "He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something."

Like, you could just put half of these as descriptors in a quickly Undertale or Earthbound-like indie RPG and no one would bat an eye in all honesty.

[cherrystark]

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

I've actually read stories where the author uses that type of wording as part of their narration.

[scribesunlimited]

Like, you could just put half of these as descriptors in a quickly Undertale or Earthbound-like indie RPG and no one would bat an eye in all honesty.

Hell, if my DM talked like this in a campaign, he'd be like, the best DM, like, ever.

[aqua03]

Hold on, I'm gonna jot these down quick and store them in my ideas folder for later....

[scribesunlimited]

Hold on, I'm gonna jot these down quick and store them in my ideas folder for later....

Oh, GOD.

I'm filled to the brim with anticipation, if the cup was a thimble and didn't have those tiny holes in it.

[aqua03]

Thanks. I'll keep you posted on my work then.

[scribesunlimited]

Thanks. I'll keep you posted on my work then.

I am cringing like someone watching "Plan 9 From Outer Space" for the first time, and someone sat down behind him and raked a metal claw on a blackboard.

[aqua03]

Hopefully my work won't end up as lame as a duck that just walked through a mine field.... XD

[scribesunlimited]

Hopefully my work won't end up as lame as a duck that just walked through a mine field.... XD

[Kann]

Some of them are rather... Interesting. xD

I was expecting to see the star one here. It goes something like "Her eyes were like stars. Not because they were shining. They were just so far away from each other".

[snailienz]

Legitimately I kinda love intentionally nonchalant writing styles in the right context so some of these made me laugh.

[Macarenaoftime]

"Her eyes were like stars. Not because they were shining. They were just so far away from each other".

This is gold my dude

[Hazumirein]

Is it really bad writing if it's bad enough to be funny, though? I laughed out loud at a few of these, and I'm 90% sure I wrote some similar lines in high school and college. A lot of my teachers loved it.

I might steal the E.coli one, actually.

[scribesunlimited]

I was expecting to see the star one here. It goes something like "Her eyes were like stars. Not because they were shining. They were just so far away from each other".

"Her eyes were like stars,and I feared becoming lost in them - lest I could theoretically see dinosaurs on Earth."