my dad says that as a parent its impossible not to love your children, even if you dont like em - he also says if we werent related we wouldnt be friends haha. i spose you can certainly dislike someones company but still love them in an actionable way; feed them, house them, bail them out of jail. and if youve raised someone, surely you know them so damn well that all the things you hate and all the things you love just blur into one?
i think the cases of children who are disowned are incredibly interesting for that reason. obviously, there are bad and distant parents who will disown their children without much pain bc they never formed that bond, and parents who disown LGBT+ children bc their hate overrides their love, which i cant fully understand - i feel it must come back to having the wrong intentions for your child from the beginning; expecting them to be something for you, to serve or represent you in adulthood, rather than just being their own people.
though theres also ppl who have to disown their kids for being godawful. my half brother is godawful; sponges off my mum and disrespects her constantly, and i sodding wish shed disown him but she wont. so... there, you have a perfectly justified reason to disown a child (theyre harming you and the other people you love, and theres no helping them), but she wont bc... i dunno. my guess is guilt, tho if u had more faith in humanity youd prolly say motherly instinct.
as for parents though... i think its a lot easier to just give up on a parent you dont like. you dont have that same responsibility of care - you cant let them down like they can let you down, bc they dont necessarily need you. you hear lots of stories of people who just dont talk to their shitty parents anymore, and i wholly endorse that. when i have friends with shitty parents who are still loyal to them i truly cant understand it; if someone has a responsibility to care for me and theyre making my life harder instead, i can drop them like hot shit. gone. no sympathy.