While I do think this is better than the previous example it, I also think there is more that can be improved. Sorry if I come off a little harsh. I will start with, though, the scene as a whole is interesting and has a lot of room for intrigue, like stated earlier by someone else.
This line.
And this line are just vague enough to be contradictory. What I think the implication you're going for is that their eyes are open but only slightly because they're heavy from fatigue, but what it can come off as, because of the second line, is that their eyes are closed and they can't see anything. And also, if their eyes are heavy, what's stopping them from blinking? Heavy eyes are eyes that are hard to keep open meaning it would be easier to shut them. It makes sense that heavy eyes need to be forced open but not that they would be hard to blink.
There's nothing inherently wrong with this line. Personification can be a great wat to intensify your descriptions. The only issue I find is with how choppy it is, like it's missing words, and the way the sentences is structured lends to that. I don't think that comma should go there.
For example: My hurting stomach growled in a low voice, begging me to feed it.
And how I would fully restructure the sentence: My painful stomach growled and gurgled, crying out for any morsel of food.
Two things. The first one: "I tried getting up." That's so boring. There's more to get into here. They pushed themselves off the bed. Forced themselves up, struggled to sit up. There's a lot more descriptive and interesting diction you could use here.
And get rid of that "soon." It's a filler word, you don't need it in this context.
The second one: So, I can understand not knowing what 'medical equipment' a person is hooked up to in a hospital, but you can always look it up. It's better to use different words if you're going to bring it up again.
Here's how I would restructure this sentence and the following one: I tried to push my body up from the bed but realized I was still attached to an IV and a monitor. I ripped the plastic tubing from arms and lightly pushed the machines away from the bed."
Overall, this opening just feels kinda flat. Maybe flowery language isn't your writing style, but I think you can add more description here, especially if this is the first thing your readers are going to see. I think there is more emotion that could be implied as well and whether or not this character is in pain. You don't have to follow the examples I've written here or even anything I've said. These are just my observations.
You have a good start and good luck!