Reboot of novel. Asking opinion about new cover [CLOSED]

[uglygirlnextdoor]

Rebooting my novel

The Circle of Light and Darkness | Tapas

I'm rebooting everything even the title and cover and the way it will be written however the story is the same but decided not only start from the beginning as write it under epic poetry form (sorta like Homer)

Just finished the cover and wanted your opinion:

2nd version

last version after many versions:

[domisotto]

It's a beautiful cover. Honestly, the covers nowadays are amazing!

[uglygirlnextdoor]

working on the fonts someone on twitter told me they need tweak

[siluscomics]

I actually really like the font!

[uglygirlnextdoor]

I think the last version is it! some people described to me what they felt about the cover and I was like: Well that is the story!

[uglygirlnextdoor]

@siluscomics and @domisotto what you think about this sort of sinpose?

Written under an epic poem, this is the love story "When Death meets Chaos." Dalia Queens and Nicholas Petrichor are on their journey to kill humankind's greatest dream. Will they oblige Mother? Or can they be more than the darkness we fear?

[siluscomics]

I like it, it's intriguing and I think it suits quite well with the cover illustration. It doesn't give too much away either so it sort of makes you continue reading.

[uglygirlnextdoor]

nice! that is what i wanted. thank you for the help

[domisotto]

Dalia Queens and Nicholas Petrichor are on their journey to kill humankind's greatest dream. Will they oblige Mother? Or can they be more than the darkness we fear?

For a loigline I always suggest avoiding questions and too many characters. I suggest the focus to be on the character that will hit the relatable or want to know about them vibe. For that, you need to tell in two or three words what is so special about them.

Something emotion stirring and specific will do, along the lines of:

When her control-freak of a mother sends Dalia on the journey to kill mankind's dream to leave the collapsing Earth, she gets her one chance to break free of the gaslighting she was subjected to for years. As the leash is slipping, she faces a choice--to unleash her powers to become the terror of every sentient being in the universe or gut herself to save complete strangers.

[uglygirlnextdoor]

gest avoiding questions and too many characters. I suggest the focus to be on the character that will hit the relatable or want to know about them vibe. For that, you need to tell in two or three

Mother is an entity, not a per se real Mother. She is Earth.. so calling her control freak actually would be correct... but she is not a real Mother. More a concept They are not killing humankind, but humankind dream. If you think as a human what you wanted the most you actually get the answer of what it is about. And no, nobody is gonna save anyone. Since my heroes are anti-heroes.

but if you have more suggestion they are more than welcome

[domisotto]

I gave it as an example. Your description is vague, so to me, it doesn't really trigger my interest. I need to see what you are selling in the logline. And the way your logline is written, you are asking me questions about something I haven't read. You are not selling me on reading it, because I am not here to hunt for puzzles. I want to know what the story is to decide if the premise and characters are worth checking out or not. For that, a logline, for me, needs to put the biggest, reddest strawberies on top of the box.

[CarltonIsaac]

Opinion - At first Glance the Cover looks intriguing enough for a look inside. Nicely composed and the colours blend and bleed well. Prefer the font of the third image.

The new title has me envisioning a 'Lady Death, Evil Ernie and Lobo, the Last Czarnian Road Trip'.

[uglygirlnextdoor]

Written under an epic poem, this is the love story "When Death meets Chaos." Dalia Queens and Nicholas Petrichor are on their journey to kill humankind's greatest dream.

Follow Dalia's growth from her birth until her ascension where she will be given the task by the planet itself.
"Chaos is born, and what a disgrace for the human race"

how about this?

[uglygirlnextdoor]

It is sorta of a weird story. weirder is gonna be told under poetry. I'm trying to start with the right step, right cover and description. And who best than the community itself btw 3rd and 4th fonte are the same

[domisotto]

Written under an epic poem, this is the love story "When Death meets Chaos." Dalia Queens and Nicholas Petrichor are on their journey to kill humankind's greatest dream.

Follow Dalia's growth from her birth until her ascension where she will be given the task by the planet itself. "Chaos is born, and what a disgrace for the human race"

It just feels disjointed to me, with nothing flowing from one point to another, creating the momentum and interest. Your first sentence doesn't address me as a reader, it sounds more like something you would read in a review. Do you need to mention it at all? I would leave it to the style of the description to convey the epicness of the story.

"When Death Meets Chaos" play on romcom tropes does capture my attention, so I would start with it, as a premise of a love story.

Dalia's and Nicolas' love is an epic struggle between Death and Chaos. The chaos reincarnate, the disgrace of the human race, Dalia, recieves the ultimate task from Mother-Earth. She must destroy humanty's eternal dream (to do what???) with Nicholas' help.

...at this point, there is the description of characters and the premise starts to become clear.

What still remains unclear, is the specific obstacles Dalia must overcome and what is the specific, easy to grasp, relatable consequence of her failure to do so, to give the description the urgency, the plot spine. That will make me want to find out if Dalia is up to the snuff, and root for her.

[uglygirlnextdoor]

an epic poem is actually a writing style that means the whole thing is a poem. not a novel, not a comic is all poetry like The lusiadas or any work from Homero

[domisotto]

I know what it is, but it belongs, at best, in the end of your description. Because you are not selling your packaging, you are selling the story. If it is in verse, it is in verse. But I need to want to read it first. Which means characters and premise and urgency.

[uglygirlnextdoor]

yeah i do understand what you mean. I have always horrible time with bloody description

[domisotto]

They can be tricky, but just give yourself time and think of them like what you love the most about your story. And keep writing and rewriting it as you go along. If all else fails, just put a quote that you love up, or leave it as simple as “Chaos falls in love with Death”

[uglygirlnextdoor]

ust give yourself ti

am actually on Twitter with @blackorchid we are building it, and we got this

When Death meets Chaos | Tapas