Review my novel please

[MelancholicOtaku]

I’m working my novel called The Lost Forest a story about Elyn who is trying to solve the mystery of her brother’s disappearance while also guiding souls to the afterlife.

Any constructive criticism is welcomed and reviews too I would like to know what I should work on

Read The Lost Forest | Tapas Web Novels

[cherrystark]

Hey! I checked out the first episode. First impression - you have some really pretty lines but as a new reader, I had no idea what was going on. My advice for newer writers is to set the stage for your early chapters. In theatre, we call this the "moment before."

For example, in a novel, this could be the scene where we learn that the MC is starting a new school. In one of my favorite adaptations of Beauty and the Beast, Belle spends the good first 1/4 of the book with her family. We learn her family's names and personalities; we're there for her sister's wedding and Belle's first kiss. Her father's arrival home and Belle's departure to the Beast takes a good chapter or two.

As long as the story is properly paced, it is okay if you take longer on certain chapters than others.

[Five]

Hi, I read it and the writing was pretty solid, but as cherry said above, I was also confused, and the small reminiscing of her brother in between the dialogues threw me off sometimes. All in all, the writing was good.

[MelancholicOtaku]

Thanks for the advice really appreciate it, this will come in handy when I do the rewrite of Lost Forest.