Reviewing comics and novels

mrtoontastic 2021-09-01 13:32:44 UTC #13

Could you review the first 5 chapters of my novel?

rj_rals 2021-09-01 14:20:15 UTC #14

Love how you tied everything together at the end of your prologue haha it's great!

Here's my novel, would love to hear thoughts on the first Chapter part! (Ch. 1.1)

hamza9644 2021-09-01 14:20:56 UTC #15

him im following u hop u like min ^^

hamza9644 2021-09-01 14:22:14 UTC #16

hi im folowing u this is min ^^

hamza9644 2021-09-01 14:22:43 UTC #17

hello im subbed this is min

Eliteone 2021-09-01 14:31:21 UTC #18

Sorry for the late reply, I got lost on the path called life.

I read the first 2 episodes and the first thing that pops up is your grammar and the description. That is the one thing I struggle with the most. We get a gesture of the modern world. Then we time skip 20 years later to meet adult Mwene. He is a cheerful and adventurous character that is easy to love. The concepts like - are God dead, the dome, the sky is falling seem interesting.

What I would suggest is to focus more on the main character's goal and the setting of the series before introducing more characters and including casual conversations that don't contribute much to the story in the early part so that the readers can get an idea early on about what the series is about.

At the end of episode 2 where the mom does in the accident. I would have put more conversations of Mwene with his mom rather than him and his newly introduced friend to have a deeper impact on the reader.

That's all I have to say right now. I would read more when I get time, so keep grinding brother

Give my we novel a try when you get time

jenessamdsilva 2021-09-01 14:46:19 UTC #19

Read as much as you like. Looking forward to your feedback.

Eliteone 2021-09-01 14:53:04 UTC #20

Let's see what do we have here.

Firstly, the description -

I would suggest rewriting the description more fluently instead of abruptly jumping from telling about the first heir to another.

The heir of ABC is on his journey to regain his rights while the heir of XYZ is fighting for the independence of his fallen kingdom - instead of using one of them and the other.

Episode 1 - the first episode is the first impression for your series, so one must make sure to put extra effort into it, to grab the attention of the readers. The first episode was very small and the description of the surroundings, the appearance of characters and the way they talk is very limited. These things help to improve the reading experience. Try to increase the length of the chapters.

The grammar is weak and needs improvement. Don't worry you are not alone. I struggle a lot with grammar and description of the surrounding area and actions. Practice is the only thing that can help us.

Episode 2 -I liked the power setting and the names of the characters, but the flow of the story and the introduction of the characters is abrupt and can be improved. Working on the flow can truly help a lot, which is why I try to revise my chapters a few times before finalizing them.

I tried to give a short honest criticism. I hope these points can help you.

samvv000 2021-09-01 15:18:48 UTC #21

Thanks for the opportunity! Mine has only four episodes; I feel like the first two are enough to maybe get an idea of the trippy vibe I'm going for. I'd love if it intrigues you enough to do more, but there's plenty of people already swarming the thread, so I'm not gonna push it.

Eliteone 2021-09-01 16:03:03 UTC #22

I read the 40 pages of the first chapter.

In the beginning, I didn't understand much about the deal. I hope we get to see more about that in the upcoming chapters. The first panel in which the hellscape hospital is illustrated got me excited.

I expected the characters in the hospital to be scary and each one having an impactful entrance. An eerie and scary setting would have suited the story, instead, the characters seemed to be cheerful.

I liked the panel in which you introduced the computer guy. It had a mysterious setting to it.

For the art, I don't think I can say much because I am still a beginner, but I think you have a grasp of what you want to draw. For eg, page 5. I liked it the most.

Saint01 2021-09-01 16:14:17 UTC #23

Review as much as you see fit.

My story(web novel):

Inspired by works such as Ghost in the Shell, Ergo Proxy, Serial Experiments Lain, and Akira, Technocyte: Beyond Human follows Detectives Beatrice Alice Moreau and Jay Lee Jones, an amnesiac man named Sherlock Lawson, and a mysterious young girl named Mina in a cyberpunk/ dystopian like setting as they uncover the truth behind Sherlock's elusive past and his connection to the Technocytes, enhanced humans who are able to morph metal around their bodies and manipulate technology, and the organization responsible for creating them known as SANCTUARY.

R.n.P 2021-09-01 16:57:16 UTC #24

Sure I'll check yours out

vholdfield 2021-09-01 18:54:09 UTC #25

I would love some feedback

Eliteone 2021-09-02 02:40:05 UTC #26

I read the first four Episodes, and your description of the the characters feeling and their physical conditions is what I find admirable. Even in these short stories we get an idea about the personality of the character and his goals. For eg in the fourth episode everything about Max was well written.

I don't have to much to say about the story cause these are a group of short stories. What I wanted to ask, I understood the tragic ending in epi 3 when someone had abducted Connor. But what was the tragic ending in episodes 1,2 and 4? I didn't get it. And also the story revolves around the four main characters so I didn't understand how it is a group of short stories. So is the group of first 6 episodes a short story?

Overall I liked it. But if these are short stories then the ending should be more tragic and unexpected to surprise the reader to make them want more, is what I would suggest.

Lilmonstart 2021-09-02 03:16:07 UTC #27

will defiinitelly check out your novel it looks good and seems interesting will give it a read when I can

well...here´s my comic if you wanna check it out it isn´t much but here it is ._.

jeffanime1 2021-09-02 03:19:45 UTC #28

Here's mine Tell me what you think

Manyana 2021-09-02 05:54:43 UTC #29

Here's my novel. You can react/review as many chapters as you want. Thank you!

Title: Talipandas
Type: Novel
Genre: Fantasy, Slice of Life, Romance
Status: On-going
Description: When spoiled rich girl Ari's life ends, she finds herself reborn as Princess Iris in a fantasy world created by her childhood imaginary friend! But being a princess comes with being the last hope to remove an evil curse from the royal bloodline, which would be a lot easier if she hadn't inherited the most useless kind of magic in the world.
Content Warning: two paragraphs of sexual content in the whole entirety of the book, mental health issues, and countless profanities.
Latest Chapter: Chapter 54.1: House of Hundred Doors
Chapter Link: https://tapas.io/episode/2281188

Shazic 2021-09-02 06:50:32 UTC #30

I would love a review of the first 5 chapters please I been rewriting my book from the ground up hoping to connect it to the other later chapters someday however yeah I want to know if my rewrites are any good if not I probably a little sad but its cool be honest okay

Aeneas1 2021-09-02 07:27:32 UTC #31

Here is mine.

WoollyPAR 2021-09-02 08:09:52 UTC #32

I'd like the first 5 chapters of my comic reviewed, I feel like reading all of them will give you a better idea of what the story is about than just the first one, as it's rather short and doesn't cover much (only 14 pages)