Rot in the forum

[ratique]

I don't expect the mods, or former mods, to become hardened vigilantes in response to these events but I would hope they'd take a strong stance on it than shoulder shrugging.

Judging from personal experience, somehow "vague" thread titles required a harder response and administrative action than forum bullying....that's just sad.

That is an assumption on your end. There may be multiple members on the forum that can attest that bullying behavior is taken very seriously, with quick response and usually very drastic punishment for those involved.

In this specific thread, from what I could see, the information given has been very vague. No names were mentioned, including victims or perpetrators. I'm not aware who is the target and who is getting ready to throw out punches. Nor have I seen the conversations that happened and can't make a good judgement on how bad the situation is.

So in other words, you are expecting me to react to something that to me, at this point in time, is little more to hearsay. Likely true, yes - but still hearsay.

Will we act when a user is attacked? Yes.
Will we try to prevent an attack from happening? Yes - you can contact me personally if you have information regarding potential upcoming issues, and I will keep an eye on what's going on.
Will we track forum users on other platforms to police them? No. We don't have the right nor the bandwidth to do so.

For the sake of privacy, I won't discuss accusations against specific users on a public platform. If you have issues or concerns regarding specific people, feel targeted or have damning off-forum information with receipts, please feel free to send them to me or staff. We will review and decide how to best react or prepare.

(Btw: I'm back from Vacay)

[GamerPrincessXI]

Blue does wonders for you. You wonderful blue person.

[mariusthered]

In all honesty I thought this thread was done and dusted an little more could be gained from it. I don't speak for anyone else but I would be happy to bring this to a close now.

[skicoak]

So in other words, you are expecting me to react to something that to me, at this point in time, is little more to hearsay. Likely true, yes - but still hearsay.

I'm expecting a definitive statement that clarifies that shifting terms to vague nonsense like calling individuals "rot" or "negative" is equally as much bullying as using specific slurs. So far, all that's been said is differing viewpoints are respected but it's not exactly the response these actions merit. Instead, these new buzzwords are just empowerment to create deniability for new types of bullying. It's wrong and should be directly addressed.

I don't expect you, or anyone else, to time travel and address past issues ...mine or anyone else's.

But how about a strongly worded statement that individuals on the forums are not empowered to judge who should, or should not be, allowed to be active here based on their individual biases?

[ratique]

I'm expecting a definitive statement that clarifies that shifting terms to vague nonsense like calling individuals "rot" or "negative" is equally as much bullying as using specific slurs.

I may have missed something, but in no way was it made clear that somebody has been called "Rot". The title of this thread didn't get brought up in the OP post, so I didn't consider it to be more than a title. So you are asking me to read into a thread and know information that I can't know about.

Also, I am no politician. I'm not a believer in fancy words and statements. Instead, clear action and quick response often speaks louder than 1000 words. (I'm feeling very melodramatic today, so allow me my cheesy writing)

The forum rules are clear and Marius was so kind to quote it to us. Be polite and treat each other with respect and tolerance.

You, Marius and myself are in the same age range and I did not find it necessary to reply to Marius that "bullying bad" and "people should be nice". That is a basic assumption that even our youngest forum members grasp very quickly.

But how about a strongly worded statement that individuals on the forums are not empowered to judge who should, or should not be, allowed to be active here based on their individual biases?

While I believe that our forum rules already include this point, sure:

The tapas forum is an open, inclusive forum for readers, writers and artists. We welcome all different mindsets and opinions, as long as they are discussed respectfully.

Hate speech, bullying and trolling in both public threads and private messages are highly discouraged and will lead to immediate banning.

[GamerPrincessXI]

Slightly off topic does that avatar eye mean you're always watching

[AceRagz]

To be honest I think you are over analyzing the title Ski. You know like they say you look long enough at something for a problem you find one.

[JRHoch]

Well, I'm going to jump into the fray because I like me some rot. (And probably have too much time on my hands this morning.)

I think @skicoak is trying to bring up a point that is getting missed. While some bullying or prejudices get strongly policed, some don't. I've seen almost no sexism, racism or other ism on the forum--which is great. Thank you, in that regard, for creating a space where it's not toxic. (Read Yahoo comments to see just how messed up people can be.)

However, there is a tendency by a minority on the forum to belittle or make unwelcome people who might be more cynical or less positive or more clear-eyed or just go against the grain--or have an ironic sense of humor that people take the wrong way.

Every once in a while "group think" emerges and the intent is to silence or marginalize dissenting voices. It's a bit more subtle to pick up on--but it is there. Perhaps Tapas should have a policy statement that addresses this aspect of forum interaction. Different viewpoints are not only tolerated but are welcome, even edgy and cranky ones.

[skicoak]

To be honest I think you are over analyzing the title Ski.

Let me clarify...

As Ratique states, They have mechanisms to handle individuals that break forum rules...so if the "rot" were breaking rules ON the forums, they'd be handled...right?

Nobody would be using a vague term like "rot" to describe someone or their actions unless the point was specifically to be vague...to have deniability. To be able to group people in bulk and then side step the allegation if challenged on it.

There's a reason why the OP isn't naming names while threatening to take their ball and go home if we don't all play the way the OP wants...it's because the vagueness allows everyone to jump in and vaguely define the "rot" on their own terms. Reread the thread... It's filled with posts of people complaining about their own vague impressions of who/what is "rot" on this forum.

All of which is quantifiably not about about actual forum infractions.

It's a internet version of The Burn Book but at least Regina George and The Plastics had the gumption to use real names and not code words like "rot".

essed up people can be.)

However, there is a tendency by a minority on the forum to belittle or make unwelcome people who might be more cynical or less positive or more clear-eyed or just go against the grain--or have an ironic sense of humor that people take the wrong way.

Ding ding! Ring the bell, we have a winner!

[mariusthered]

this bone is getting chewed so long the dog has staved to death.
the title is just the title no bullying was intended if it makes people happy then ok i will say it I'm sorry i use any word that offended people in this thread
interesting how the one person who is against this thread is the one who had posted the most on it!

I said what i wanted to say it's been dealt with

@ratique I think it's high time we closed this thread please.

[skicoak]

interesting how the one person who is against this thread is the one who had posted the most on it

Not against the "thread", I'm against the intent of the thread... You, and others, bullying people into behaving the way they want it... Even if what they're doing isn't against forum rules.

I said what i wanted to say

But you somehow don't reserve the right for EVERYONE else equally ? You keep asking for the thread to be closed... What? Was it only for you to have a say but needs shut down when anyone finds fault with what you actually said? Does disagreeing with you make me "rotten"?

[skicoak]

you say what you want by all means just don't follow me around threads criticising everything, quip or joke i make.

Impressive.

Somehow you both granted me the freedom of opinion that I'm already granted here...then attached the same as long as it fits what you WANT attachment to it.

You can withdraw, I can quote.

[mariusthered]

yer whatever dude , your good at calling others bully yet you do it yourself . arguing for the sake of doing so. if you want to put up your own thread feel free then people can choose to read it or not.
and with that i will no longer be following this thread from this point .

[skicoak]

yer whatever dude , your good at calling others bully yet you do it yourself . arguing for the sake of doing so.

Interesting hot take...arguing with someone about a specific point is according to you "bullying" now. Are we going to start flagging every difference of opinion?

Or is it the implication, that you withdrew, that I'm following you around disagreeing with everything you post. Please, take Ratique's advice and report that to the mods directly... Show your math, don't just imply it.

and with that i will no longer be following this thread from this point .

Suuuuuuuuuuure.

[Trevor]

i got into an argument with someone on here before who was insisting that catholics aren’t a form of christianity who then started to whine about the argument and acted like they were being attacked. They then somehow got the mods to come in and delete our posts and the mods seemed to side with them on the idea they were being attacked. Needless to say I wasn’t attacking them, I was just telling them they were wrong lmao

[vothnthorvaldson]

Oh yes I remember that thread, that was the first time I realized there was really something wrong bere. I tried to help them by giving an explanation of why they got confused and it backfired.

With other persons and in other threads I again tried several times to pacify things but only got into trouble for it.

That's my problem with this forum: some people refuse discussion (and even when it's nice and helpful, which seems outlandish to me), and only want to hear echoes or their own thoughts.
And they get their wishes too often (threads closed, flags accepted, their comportement not being considered as bullying etc).

[skicoak]

That's my problem with this forum: some people refuse discussion (and even when it's nice and helpful, which seems outlandish to me), and only want to hear echoes or their own thoughts.

I'm not on that many forums anymore but when did this growing trend of suggesting people should open up their own threads to disagree start gaining traction?

[vothnthorvaldson]

But then it's not a forum, it's like 2 countries at war having their embassy in the same large building

---

I just thought.. I don't dare to tag you Marius but if you're still around, mute the topic, that would be the best compromise for everyone.

And here comes a question: how many people know about muting subjects? Are mods notifying people who want their subjects closed that that less extreme solution exists?
I can TOTALLY understand the annoyance, or even worse, felt by someone who get notifications for a subject they created and that went a different way; depending on circumstances, I see how it can be very painful; it's understandable that the person doesn't want to have anything to do anymore with the thread. We are not every day in discussion mood. Even me! No, what makes me outraged is when the whole subject get shut down or even unlisted. I wish we were pushing that mute feature more, that could possibly be enough to appease those who want occasionally to be left alone for some reason (it probably won't work for the serial-censors though); while letting the people who want to discuss and exchange, free to do so.

[GamerPrincessXI]

This is a weird thread, can someone please explain what is going on. Thanks!

Best Regards,

GamerPrincessXI

[skicoak]

And here comes a question: how many people know about muting subjects?

I think your empathy for the idea of posters being "annoyed" by notification is noble...but I personally think the people asking for threads to be closed are primarily out to silence/remove debate.