- several different American Drug Center articles on things like Codeine and Paracetamol etc.
- Personal blogs by different wheelchair users who shared the different struggles they experience using a wheelchair that helped me add more parts to Kattar's character.
Since I didn't do nearly enough research on pain meds before hand, I'm glad that the symptoms I gave Kattar matched, and then I could just add more detail. it's definitely better to know more though, so I highly recommend research-
I feel his gaze as he takes in the reality. The scars.
Iām not as pretty as I was on his screen saver, am I?
This time when I turn around, he knows I caught him staring.
āI donāt remember that dress,ā he says a little breathlessly, smiling brightly, āItās nice.ā
I look at him, sour, my jaw set, and roll my eyes. His expression ebbs from one of surprise and confusion to almost worry. I catch him leaning forward in his chair as I start to turn away.
āHey, āLiseā¦ā
I cut him off - pretending I didnāt hear him, āHave you had anything to eat, yet?ā
He looks at me for a minute in silent frustration - no thatās not fair - though he tries to hide it, I can tell itās disappointment - maybe even hurt - before leaning back in his chair in weary defeat.
āNo,ā he sighs, ānot yet.ā He waves one thin hand toward the kitchen with a delicate lift of his wrist, āThe caregivers served me breakfast earlier, but Iām sick and tired of soup and casserole. Iāve been working up the strength to make myself a sandwich, but thatās goingā¦ā
He covers his face with one hand and raises his shoulders like heās trying to shrug off the unbearable exhaustion.
āItās the painkillers,ā he explains, āThey make me sluggish andā¦numb.ā
I can almost hear the wheels churning - the voices whispering -
But what difference does that make?