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Nov 2024

This is my first time writing a story so I wanted to know what other people think of it.
So, the story is about a boy who has an abusive father. He has friends at school but he is not that close with them and his grades are alright. He is very unsure about what he wants to do in his life and feels tired of everything. One day he was feeling very tired of everything so he decides to go for a walk and ends up in an old rural area. He was very overwhelmed and suddenly there were bright sparkles in the sky, He was very shocked and there was a girl sitting on a broom and wearing a big hat (in simple words, in a witch get up). He was very shocked and then the girl puts on a big smile and says hi but suddenly tears start coming from her eyes. The witch tells him about her story that she belongs from a different world where everyone can do magic but for some reason she can't and she is also a cute looking girl rather than being intimating like other witches and that nobody understands her. The boy thinks that they are somewhat similar so he comforts her using the words he wants to hear when he is sad.
I haven't completed the story yet. but i am thinking that for some days the witch won't be able to go back to her world so while she was here, the boy meets her everyday and they find comfort in each other and become good friends. By the time the story ends the boy finds out what he wants to do in life and the girl finds out the reason she can't do magic and finds way to go to her own world. The end of the story will be like a start of a new journey for both of them
I want to show that they don't suddenly become good at things but they start growing and healing little by little.
And i am not sure but I am thinking that the girl actually likes another witch from her world and she is perfect and popular unlike the main witch so she always think that she can't be with her. But when she goes back to her own world that other witch tells her that she was very worried about her and that will also be the beginning of their love story.

  • created

    Nov '24
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    Nov '24
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I like the theme and that the boy has troubled background and that the story includes
a witch.

For a story you will need a problem / the characters need a goal.

Example:

The boy´s problem is that he is not popular in school and the prom is coming
up, he is the only one who doesn´t have a date.

The witch girl´s problem/goal is this: she is sent to the human world to put
a curse on a human to fulfill her final witch exam and be able to be a real witch.

The conflict of the story is that the witch girl starts to like the boy but witches
can´t be friends with humans and being friends with a human with exclude her
permanently from the witch world.

You can use the witch magic for all kind of situations in the story (for the bullies,
the teacher, the abusive father etc.), I would not write a witch girl who can´t do magic
because readers who are reading a story about a witch want to see some witchcraft :slight_smile:

I agree with all Lensing wrote.
Maybe you could correct the powerless witch to a witch who can't control her powers. This can be used creatively to make interesting or funny situations.

You have a cute, cozy story idea. It is gonna be nice if you work more on the details :blush:

Definitely something I'd read.

And I'm not tweaking your story unless you wanna turn it into edgelord stuff that reminds you of linkin park :laughing: