Welcome to this great place (:
I haven't read your stuff yet, but I wanted to give you some impressions I had while taking a quick look.
First, Tapas as a site rewards you for periodic posting. Each time you post, your story goes to the Fresh category. I don't know if you have a loooot of material already written, but I feel that if you space your updates, like 2 days apart, it would give your readers time to easily digest things at a more friendly pace.
Also, your first scene has actions (most of them) in italic, while your other scenes drop this style and just go for standard. This is more of my obsession for formating stuff, but it would be nice to have it all consistent, since it's easy to change it as well.
But hey, beyond that, give time to time. You just posted yesterday. With steady posting and interaction with other people, your story will grow naturally (: