I think I know what your problem is:
You are porpusefully tying to get into your own head, overthinking, coming up with stupid things to get distracted to because you know you have questions but you don't want to deal with them, you don't want to solve them, thus, you either try to use others so they can solve them for you, or you're expecting it to get solved with some magical advice that'll work on the first try, when not.
So you are in this loop because you conviced yourself you "can't" do things, but the truth is that you're so stubborn that cannot even recognize the fact that you put excuses all the damn time because you actually don't want to do it, because passion ain't nothing without discipline, without routine, without perseverance nor patience.
“Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working” As Pablo Picasso once said