I know the spirit of what you're saying - I just find it funny when people go 'in order to promote yourself, you should participate in conversations with no ulterior motives', or similarly 'to make friends and get people to like you, just be nice to people without having ulterior motives'
It's like ... I'm only reading this in the first place because I DO have ulterior motives!
My ulterior motive is to promote myself/get people to like me/make friends; you know that, the whole point of your advice is for people with ulterior motives like mine :'D
Sorry, just had to get that off my chest XD I know you're not saying 'you're not allowed to want to promote yourself'
But for people whose brains work like mine, lemme rephrase that for you:
- Don't stake your interaction on people doing what you want, and thus achieving your ulterior motives. It's okay to go into a conversation in the hopes that people will notice you and check out your stuff - it's okay even if you wouldn't have joined the conversation in the first place if you estimate that you're unlikely to get noticed^ - but don't get mad or blame people if it turns out no-one ended up being interested in your stuff.
- Even if you're only there to promote yourself, don't act like it; e.g. by dropping your link every time. I guess for me, the core of it is 'don't make me feel like you're expecting me to check out your stuff after reading your post, or that you'd give me a stinkeye if you could see me scrolling past without checking out your work'
But generally, people just find it annoying for whatever reason, even if it might be different from mine
^ Full disclosure, sometimes I'd see one of those 'show/tell me X about your story' threads and I'll deliberately wait for other people to post first in order to gather data on how often people get replies, and decide whether to engage based on that (e.g. If the OP comments on every reply, I'm more likely to post than if the whole thread was just people posting about X in their story with no engagement except likes)
I mean sometimes I'll post anyway if it doesn't take long (e.g. I don't have to hunt through my comic and crop out like 5 different images) and/or if I wanted to respond to someone else anyway. But often it's all very calculated. Does anyone else do this? I feel like a sociopath sometimes XD