Got the three of you guys. Sorry I was asleep XD.
@Anshin I read through ep 1 and ep 20. I like where it is going. Will probably read the rest at some point. My advice is that you rely on speaking adjectives a little too much. I got the same advice from my editor. "she asked", should not be stated if the speaker is clear, and they are asking a question. Just the quote is fine, as it was already established through context who was responding, and the question mark already indicates that it is a question.
^---^ Not trying to give you negative critique or anything, just something I noticed. Otherwise, your writing quality is pretty good, but all of the "-ed" word endings, especially in ep1 do jump out at the reader. There are about 160 of them in ep1 alone. Don't feel bad, mine first has 60, and my second chapter has 80. I have to work on it myself.
@rosierubycardinal You are a good writer, the content is well structured. Just not my kind of story, starts a little heavy. Subbed regardless, I'll check up on it.
@Inspector Your episode length is very short, the writing quality is good; however there are quite a few literary asides (character speaking directly to the omniscient, and this example set of parenthesis). I like the visual way you represent other conversation mediums, like text conversations. That's pretty cool.
@Itsjustdrawings I was already subbed. I'm glad you stopped using comic sans. XD For real though, your quality has improved even over just the last month. Proud of you mate.