Um, you know, there's no need to make a lot of thread since it'll only cluttering the forum and mods didn't really likes it, so one is enough. You can bump it up by editing your current thread.
As for what I thought about your story, the first chapter feels like a total info dump. Too many information on one place and all. Not many people's like that and I actually skipping through some of the paragraphs (sorry bout that).
You can make it better by not giving too much information and simply added them as you made the plot progress. Try reading some more popular fantasy adventure novels if you can, and try to see the difference of writings and implement it to yours, though copying directly is not advised. ^^;
And some things I noticed is that you didn't put punctuation marks correctly, like commas, etc. Try to proofread it and fix them.
This is what I thought, but don't give up and keep writing! You'll get better as time goes on.