The line between self and others

[Mira_Astralis]

Hihi!

I've just been struggling a lot where all i want to do is art, art, and only art. It's really fulfilling and it makes me and my friends really happy, so that's cool! The problem is that i'd gladly do it than, say, take care of my cousins or play a board game with my family, and they're not too happy about that. Just, does it make me a bad person to just, not want to do those things cause i wanna talk to my online/irl friends and do art instead of socialize? Also, where do you draw the line between doing stuff for yourself and doing stuff for others?

~Mira

[nostalgicroxas]

No. People need to understand you aren't an art machine.
One of my friends accepts commissions with the strict wording that it may take 2-6 months for you to get your art because she has a life.

[Seaby]

I get that feeling a lot, especially considering my extremely introverted nature. The thing about having a skill that you enjoy and want to develop, especially art, is that if you don't find a healthy balance early on you run the risk of overdoing it. It might not seem that way at first, especially since it's fun.

However, if you find that your family or friends are beginning to feel estranged, try and set aside some time every day or every other day where you focus on the people around you.
Should they understand and respect your desire to work hard and and improve yourself? Definitely. But the time you spend with them is beneficial not only for others but for yourself. It allows you to take a break and reconnect, and come back to your art with fresh eyes and renewed motivation. Your hobbies/personal projects shouldn't interfere with your everyday life. Let it get too far, and you'll realize that you're really missing out on that family time.

Just try to figure out how much time is too much to spend on your art. Anything over eight hours is pushing it, especially if you're not a professional. I recommend four hours a day where you're fully committed to working on your art.

[dinoboo]

My friends want me to chat with them online and I do occasionally even though I feel busy. I geI would suggest that when you are not doing art, you can socialize. As an high schooler artist and writer myself, I don't spend all 12 hours when I am awake drawing. I sometimes get angry when I get interrupted by my parents while drawing. I realize that I am closing myself out to the world and becoming more bitter when I overdo myself. I take 1-2 hours socializing and so. Anyways, if your friends are too demanding on you, maybe they are not very good friends. Take some fresh air and hang out with your friends and family.

[Mira_Astralis]

I don’t think it’s that! It’s just that we have the greatest conversations and they’re a lot more fun? And I can talk to them about stuff that a don’t usually talk to my parents about...

[gmaximin]

Experience, interactions, they will indirectly improve your art. Especially the one you’re not familiar with, that’ll feed your inspiration and perspective when you need time, so if you have such opportunities to spend an hour playing with your family, that’s great. Study their facial expression, analyse their behavior, scratch their logic... and then you’ll art will benefit from that...

[Ardelvion]

No one from my family, relatives, and real-life friends talk about art. I have friends who can make art, but they don't do it and talk about it anymore. My brother is a better artist than me, but he doesn't use his art skills. And whenever I talk to him about art, he'll just roll his eyes. As for my parents, they don't really understand art or even try to understand it. I still socialize with people in real-life. It's just that I don't get to talk to them about art-related stuff.

It's these reasons why I spend most of my time socializing online. Communities such as Tapas forums allow me to connect with others who know how much effort is needed to do art.

So does doing those things make me be a bad person? I don't think so. Doing art and talking about it is a part of who I am. And if I had to avoid art, I'd be killing my inner child. I just need to make sure that I don't over exert myself.

I only do art for myself (at least for now). But if I were to do art for others, I'd only do it if it would make me happy and if I find it challenging.

[dinoboo]

Yeah it's great that you enjoy talking to your friends. I think talking to your friends can help you improve as an artist and writer. Get those feelings out and you'll be better at expressing yourself through art. My friends indirectly influence my art.

[indagold]

Do what makes you happy. Why feel shame about it. Most people don't even like hanging out with their family anyways lol

[Fuzzyman818]

I kind of get the same feeling whenever my parents ask me to do any kind of chore around the house. Just makes me feel like I could be doing something to improve my art skills or be working on my comics. But there are times when I am working on my stuff that I feel myself slip into a mundane routine. I get up, get ready for work, go to work, work, come home from work, get on my computer and work some more. It was during that time that I decided to find a proper balance for myself so I don't turn into that loner workaholic that is to busy with things. Heck, even my dad who probably worked his butt off found the time to have some fun with me. But my point is that no matter what kind of cool concepts or ideas might enter into your mind, just try to find some time to spend with the ones you love the most.

[SleepingPoppy]

Just, does it make me a bad person to just, not want to do those things cause i wanna talk to my online/irl friends and do art instead of socialize?

Nah, just sounds like normal teenager time where you want so distance from your family to figure yourself out as a person. Prioritizing friends and self discovery at this time is SUPER normal.

Ideally carve out some time for your family, for example, institute a game night once a week, then you can do art every other day, but take a few hours off to have fun with the family. But over all, no, you should not feel guilty about wanting to do your own thing.

[allenT]

I feel you 100% ! I think a lot of people are actually very creative but they don't show it because its not social norm. Everyone's have their own special interests and we're afraid feeling awkward when no one's into our stuff. They may respond nicely out of kindness but we can feel the reluctance sometimes, and vice versa.