The watercooler: a place to chat

[unknown_user]

Is making online lessons harder, than IRL ones?

[DiegoPalacios]

Progress doesnt happen at the same rates in every place.

That is why such things as America`s colonization have happened. Because the technology gap between European countries and America was just too huge for most indigenous civilizations to continue their lifestyle or even stand a chance of fighting back.

And human beings as a whole have been subjected to the whims of those who sought to stop/slow/contain it...so it didn't usurp their individual "power"

A sad truth. Any organization with any degree of authority can be exploited by people who seek power if we are not careful enough.

[unknown_user]

I am furious.

This topic: was just closed by ridiculous reason: Dear @ratique , @DokiDokiTsuna clearly described the reasons why she doesn't want to use suicide prevention hotline, and why she can't reach out to her family and friends. She wanted to discuss a question, seemingly important for her, in the place, where she accustomed to hang out, and where many people are familiar to her. She didn't offend anyone. And you answered to her like this. At her place, I'd perceive these words like a slap…

I am seriously furious.
I'm shaking.
Fuck.

[TAMAnnoying]

I’m sorry! I totally understand your fury in this situation. It seems really petty to respond with the way she did when doki stated the entire reason of the post was that the hotlines didn’t feel helpful for some people and that was the point of reaching out. Feels like the entire idea fell on deft ears!

[Jenny-Toons]

Ah yes -- I can definitely see this spiraling out of control and leaving a big mess for the mods.

High emotions, more threads, people talking over each other:

Business as usual in the forums

[Panqiuyan]

school is over but I have a summer school boo hoo

[Azifri]

The generic answer was weird. Not unexpected, but it doesn't happen often here so it feels off...

[DiegoPalacios]

@Azifri @tired_programmer

Just saw the thread.....while the topic leant towards asking about how to find inner strenght when you dont have people you can lean on, the way it was worded (specially the title) was waaaaaay more provocative than intended.

Havent read the whole thread (its kinda long), so i am not sure if the discussion escalated into any hostility.

On one side, i understand ratique`s concerns of the risk of things escalating out of control, the advice on seeking profesional help, while it could be considered generic, is better than relying of unqualified strangers on the internet.

A sad truth is that not everyone knows how to help a person who suffers depression, specially if they dont know said person well.

Maybe the paradox here was that damage control was neccesary to be done quickly (some threads escalate way too fast), so a single mod cant read the whole topic before reaching such decision. Maybe the decision was rushed, maybe it was a good call. I should read the whole topic to properly judge that.

Maybe a better explanation on why the thread is getting closed could have saved some trouble. Now is up to Op and Ratique to talk things out.

[vothnthorvaldson]

I think it does not happen as much as before because people know what will happen and they keep quiet.
It's so sad I don't even want to fight anymore...
And everything is so incredibly selfish... i still don't get how only the creator of the post is considered a victim when a post is closed.. that's not how discussion works,
If a group of people are in a room discussing and suddently someone shove everyone outside and slam the door at my nose, I don't think people would not see me as a victim because I was not the one starting the discussion.
But on a forum, all the sudden, it's ok. It's normal.
I don't get it . I've been moderating since the mid 90' and I've seen that horrible mindset emerge and take over... Terribly sad...

[unknown_user]

Well, at least, here they don't ban you for questioning mod's actions. At the most of old forums, you got banned immediately for it.

[DiegoPalacios]

Yup, respect to the mods for that

[vothnthorvaldson]

Depends on forums I suppose. I never moderated a forum with such a policy, or even used one as a member (at least not for long.. probably it happened a few times and it made me leave the forum. I don't remember a specific case though).

[Azifri]

The forums I moderated years ago were the wild west xD I miss that. Here you have to be so careful with your words to not offend anyone, and things are taken out of context so often that I find it too tiresome to start a discussion. But cool people and helpful threads keep me here ^^

And agree, that mindset is getting more common. Probably the reason why discord and apps like that are so popular.

[vothnthorvaldson]

Very good observation about the 'taking things out of context'. The best way I can express it, is that I feel forum etiquette dropped bluntness for manipulation.
Not a good change ...

[skicoak]

The best way I can express it, is that I feel forum etiquette dropped bluntness for manipulation.

You gotta use the tools they let you keep in your toolbox...it ain't ideal.

[vothnthorvaldson]

The levels of hypocrisy and counterproductivity are so absurdly high these days.
Each time I think I'm blase... I'm not yet.

[unknown_user]

Oh my. Just read all the comments under this article:

Here's What Happens When You Call Into A Suicide Prevention Hotline

So disgusting.

[skicoak]

It wasn't that long ago I was being labeled as a paranoid rabble rouser for pointing out such simple things.

None of this is brand new... these forums had select groups in discord channels discussing how to manipulate other forum users. You had concentrated attacks to flag comments by specific users to silence their voice.

I think the current state of the forums is at least a bit more transparent now.

[vothnthorvaldson]

Haha, I'm often told I'm paranoid too, but especially IRL, because the fact I am autistic and thus VERY awkward in person, make people believe I'm bad at detecting manipulation.
But actually, I'm very good at it, in a way that may even compromise more my social life than my awkwardness do. I'm a real Cassandre, always smells manipulation much before most others. So, either 1) I speak up, upset people and pass as a crazy paranoid, or 2) I shut up and feel guilty. I still do 2), because when I do 1) not only people get upset on the spot, but they often get upset a second time when they realize I was right. Like, I did not insist enough and failed to protect them
That's a big reason I prefer casual, online friendships, actually.
But it does not stop the uneasiness and the sadness of seeing manipulation at work. For example, I saw in the last few months a person getting 'initiated' to how to manipulate people by other forum users. One more manipulator, and that very disturbing notion that they are both a victim and a bully. Manipulation is something I really have difficulty to live with.
The only silver lining is that I suppose I'm relatively safe from falling for it, but well, no one is 100% immune.
I'm actually writing about that these days because I'd like to consult someone for a Canadian diagnosis of my social issues and that 'problem' of detection of manipulation is one of the main things I want to bring up. It's a bit paradoxal, I know.

[skicoak]

Manipulation is a funny thing.

It can be a positive thing if the intent is primarily towards a positive goal or outcome. That stuff doesn't bother me per se. Sometimes it's even a welcomed way to soften a situation.

Currently the weirdest form of it that's bugging me is @jensrichard77.

Positive guy...just having fun with it ...but why do they have TWO forum accounts and the ability to edit their title? In terms of self promoting themselves as a creator... and their series... it's an insane advantage to manipulate the forums. An advantage no one else has...as far as I know.

Because they're presenting it with good humor (and probably mod approval) it doesn't seem to get questioned at all. But man, it just seems weird to me.