I was just going to read the thread, but I found @yansusu and @TAMAnnoying wondering about BL, so I felt I should help with what I know.
The investigations I read about that topic tell that BL was originally made by hetero women for hetero women. Their aim was creating romance stories far from the misogyny and homophobia that mass media romance displayed, giving space to romances between equals that explored sexuality, love and sexual desire.
The problem is, they unconsciously poured that same misogyny and homophobia they were trying to get rid of in their stories. So equality dissapeared the moment the characters became a couple; their love didn't take place because they were gay, no, it's because is that person and that person is special and just happens to be a man; and their sexual relationship had always a sub and a dom and those roles couldn't be changed. That's why rape was part of BL for a long run, because that's what mass media displayed (women subjugated to men that do with them what they want, and they'll like it, because that's how love works), so not knowing anything better, BL creators ended up showing the same kind of "love" in BL.
BL is a genre where, for some time, patriarchy and equality lived together and confronted each other. That doesn't mean BL is bad or that first kind of BL isn't valid. Noone considers Romeo & Juliette is bad despite being the love between a 30yo guy and a minor, it was another time and another mindset.
Since then BL branched telling also stories that question gender, roles, sexuality, marriage, etc. And now the LGBT+ community started creating stories in that genre too, sharing bits of their own life experience. So we start having more accurate and respectful BL romances.
As I said, all those kinds of BLs are valid, because each other had their aim and time. There's a point to keep in mind when it comes to het women BL, that fujoshis and homosexuals shared for a long time the shame of liking something different from the stablished, and both groups created a minority that take care of each other.
I hope that helps a bit. Maybe it ties with the problem of women seen as less in society that I saw you went over next