This! It seems that rape in pop culture is almost never depicted from the victim's perspective, Nor is it realistic. And sometimes it's not even about her, like if it's written in to develop the character of some man in her life, and the victim's totally sidelined.
Worst is when a main character is raped, and at that point loses all established character development and from then on is defined as just "rape victim" with maybe only three directions to take from there: dead, catatonic wilting violet, or vigilante.
When in the real world, some rapes are more violent than others, and no two survivors will react the same exact way. In some cases, as time goes by, we think of it less and less simply because we discover or rediscover things that are more worthy of our attention.
For instance, the fact that I suffered a metric ton of horror in my childhood informed my interest in martial arts and marksmanship, and my decision to teach my kids the same as well as teaching them how to enforce their boundaries. But we're no family of vigilantes.
It does not inform my decision to drink coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon. It does not affect my grocery shopping list. It has nothing to do with my employment, though I can relate better to patients who survived similar. At the comic book shop, it does not influence my pull list. (I took an extended Green Lantern hiatus after the refrigerator incident, though.)
You see what I mean.