Wednesday Ash Webcomic Reviews [status: OPEN / New CLOVERLINES!]

[mg78]

uhm, interesting the note about the lettering, i didnt notice what could do a "coast to coast" , in the begining...
about the story, it's already done and it ll be showed step by step in the comic, sometime in the future (ive got no intention to waste it, in few pages)
thx 4 the opinions!

[Jewe11s]

Ooh neat! I'll have to look up All-New Hawkeye! Sounds fascinating!

I'll definitely take your comments into consideration if (and when!!!!) I get this comic printed. I'll test both versions of Chapter 1 amongst friends and fellow artists to see which is more effective in a physical format before finalizing it.

Again, thanks for the tips!

[winglesscomic]

Hi!! Thanks for taking the time to read and give your honest opinion!! I really appreciate it. I'll pass this stuff along to my writer to digest! Thank you!

[WednesdayAsh]

Critique of
Katelyn Billings'
"Let's Go On an Adventure!"
First 9 pages

Yeah! Let's!

Even though the author requested I review from page 2, I'll go from the cover instead as early installation weirdness doesn't phase me and is very normal when dealing with amateur webcomics. It's very forgivable. By the by cover should have a focusing point in the center, i suggest a shadow in the light, or just straight up redrawing the cover so the main protagonist is facing the camera.

I value the tension between the two characters as it gives a background to what is happening and serves as a vehicle for characterization and world building. Sometimes webcomics start with a establishing prologue or even just go in medias res, this is a valid alternative if you can make two fully formed characters from the off. And of course sometimes webcomics waste these beginning pages on atmosphere, no lie, i'm guilty of it XD

I wish the bubble tail-ends would be closer to the speakers mouth. A particular problem at page 3 on the 2nd panel, the purple character has two bubbles, but the first one just hovers there (why not link them up?). Art wise, I am very impressed throughout, considering this is an early attempt at webcomics. Refine this and you shall go far, and stop apologizing for it, just do it! You have nothing to be ashamed about!

The non-textual story telling could use more shine, but again still beginning pages and you need a lot of direct text information to spill so again forgivable.

Looking forward to the progress of this webcomic, at the current state nothing to egregious to comment upon...

Cause there's no inciting incident yet.

Sooner than later please, like next page sooner if possible.

• Wednesday Ash

[WednesdayAsh]

Current status: OPEN for three requests!

[WednesdayAsh]

Im looking forward for what comes next for sure

[joannekwan]

Hey, it'd be great to hear your thoughts on one of my series
Type: arc
Webcomic name: Erie Waters
Creative team: me, myself, and I
Link to series: http://tapastic.com/series/Erie-Waters
Which pages / which gag: You can focus on the first chapter "Ian" but are more than welcome to continue up through what I have.
Other: Happy Holidays!

[phen]

Hello there! Congratulations with Entytas! If you're still accepting arcs, I deeply appreciate your thoughts on my series. It's my first time working with a focused story and small cast in a comic format. I've been working on it since earlier this year so the art style fluctuates a bit.

Type: Arc
Webcomic name: There's No Such Thing as Jason -- I.T.
Creative team: Single creator (writer and artist, me)
Link to series: There's No Such Thing as Jason -- I.T. >>
Which pages / which gag: The first chapter (pages 1 - 26, skip the mini pages 'midnight' and 'holiday')
Other: I'm most concerned with coherency. Does the arc seem to build anything or is it all too vague?

All my gratitude for your time!

[TheQotfo]

Hie!

Type: Arc
Webcomic name: Alliance
Creative team: Alokparna Sen - Writer, Kaushani Majumder - Artist
Link to series: http://tapastic.com/series/alliance
Which pages / which gag: The whole thing if you can (we have 17 pages)
Other: Would like some thoughts on the story and overall appeal

Thanks

[WednesdayAsh]

CLOSED pending 3 critiques

[Marvin]

Damn, I keep missing it ! But it's a good idea to close and open requests. Makes you more approachable than a huge list were I'm like "eeeeeeh. no. Too bad." Good job with your reviews by the way ! (small thing though : when you write the title at the beginning, could you link it to the actual comic ? People are more likely to click on it if it's right there and they don't have to take extra actions to find it)

[WednesdayAsh]

Oh yea for sure thats a ggood idea, ive thought it alreadt and keep forgetting to execute! I plan to make a tumblr for this and that site will definitely have the links

Thanks for the interest in my reviews

[Zannen00]

Hello, thank you for your time on reviewing my comic =D
I will keep in mind the advice you've given to improve myself!

Salad hahah true, true... still a long way to go until we hit the main course of the story...

Hmm... how does one goes the introduction and setting of a long story, while keeping the audience hook until the main plot starts?

Also thanks for the reference recomendation, I will check it out Mark Millars and see how its done!

Thanks again for the Review!

Zannen

[Marvin]

Hmm... how does one goes the introduction and setting of a long story, while keeping the audience hook until the main plot starts?

Well you're supposed to have a lot to say in an intro, like introducing your universe, the tone and ambiance of the comic and even more importantly what makes your characters unique and lovable, even if you don't dive immediately into the main plot.

Ps : Sorry, you were probably asking @WednesdayAsh, just thought I'd give my two cents about it !

[WednesdayAsh]

Critique of
Joanne Kwan’s
“Erie Waters"
(Chapter: Ian)

The art style of Ms. Kwan's "Erie Waters" is very bold. Black on white, a clear style. Nothing is left to chance when it comes to depicting the world around and within lake Erie and its denizens. The paneling is basic, but tight. The lettering is extremely legible. As if Ms. Kwan wants the reader to have an absolute objective view of the events of "Erie Waters".

But for this "Erie Waters", the objective view is the wrong view.

"Erie Waters" is billed as an atypical ghost story, but I feel it's "atypicalness" isn't serving the ghost story well. When you bill your self as a ghost story there are certain expectations you instill in the reader, a promise of a type of horror being one of them. The setting, a lake, also invokes a classic horror/slasher feel to the proceedings. But considering almost nothing of consequence happens to the protagonist in this chapter, the art style seems to hammer home the fact that "Yep, it's fine, Ian's not in danger, nothing to see here..."

But what is a clear art style good for then?

Marjane Satrapi's "Persepolis" uses a similar clarity in depicting events. Everything is in stark objective matter-of-fact black on white. It pretty much has to be, its depicting an extremely complicated existence of a western minded middle-eastern girl surviving armed revolution in her country (not exactly a modern western experience. An objective view is mandatory, if you want the reader, mostly western audiences, to literally understand what's going on in the comic to make a moral and political judgement to what is happening.

The more complex the subject matter, the clearer the art needs to be. To encourage objectivity.

"Erie Waters" however needs is a subjective point of view.

We like to make fun of cheesy horror movie tricks such as found footage, shaking the camera, limiting visibility, copious rain etc. But all of those serve to incriese the personal horror of the protagonists, to drive the viewer to literally lean forward on their seats in a vain attempt to understand and deal with what is happening. The horror/ghost story genre is dependent on the reader wanting to wipe the gunk of the screen to see the emotional/anatomical carnage within.

"Erie Waters's" art reassures us, "move along nothing to see here." Don't be afraid to tighten the angles, throw some gunk on the screen, make us want to know the unknown. Cause truly...

Subjectivity isn't such a bad thing.

Read "Erie Waters" http://tapastic.com/series/Erie-Waters

• Wednesday Ash.

[WednesdayAsh]

Critique of
phenylketonurics'
"There's No Such Thing as Jason -- I.T."
(Nov-Dec run)

"Do not waste the reader's time".

That is the maxim i try to hold to whenever I am writing. Can I frame this series of pages into one page? can I frame this one page in one panel? Do i really need this one panel? For the first 20-22 pages of "There's No Such Thing as Jason - I.T." (Jason I.T) the art and words of the work threaten to waste my time big time.

Everything is decompressed! computer error, turning off the light, shutting the door, going down the apartment, getting to the office, meeting dim, snarking with dim, trying to read the naturalistic lettering (use a font! it hurts my eyes!) explaining the error, getting into the technicalities of the error, oh my god what I.T hell did I get sucked into why god why...ehh...

I guess Jason does have one blue eye...THAT'S INTERESTING!!!

Why didn't you start with that?!

The placing of an event (in the beginning, middle, end, cliffhanger?) and the amount of time you dedicate to said event (1 panel? a whole issue?!), ascribes value to the event.

Assuming we're going with American floppy monthlies as the unit of comics here, Is getting a computer fixed by an annoying tech nerd (20 pages, beginning and middle) more important than the extremely violent and disturbing unique event in Jason's life? (4-6 pages, end). Get your priorities straight. Is it important and unique (hence a reader hook), put it in the beginning and dedicate more pages to it, is it an important characterization moment (dedicate a page in the middle). And always have an eye for compressing less important events!

Remember it only took 2-4 minutes of screen time (4 pages of an industry standard script roughly) to convince us Poe Dameron and Finn we're the best of buddies in the new Star Wars movie. A diagnostic of a computer should take way less.

If I were your editor I'd implore your to put the events of page 20-24 ish and move it forward to 4-8. Hell start at the office! If you really want the diagnostic scene to be as detailed as it is, make it page 1, it would start the comic with immediate conflict between the protagonist and the antagonist. Use dialogue to imply past events faster. You need to use decompression as little as possible, and when it does make it count.

Decompression is great if it has a purpose, if it doesn't its just a waste of time.

Read "There is No Such Thing as Jason I.T."
http://tapastic.com/series/Theres-No-Such-Thing-as-Jason----IT

• Wednesday Ash

[WednesdayAsh]

Critique of
Alokparna Sen and Kaushani Majumder's
"Alliance"

Style is mostly lost on amateur webcomics.

Most adhere to what is tried and true (anime style, american superhero style), so it is with such delight to find an earnest original attempt at style such as Sen and Majumder's "Alliance". Adopting a sort of watercolor meets scrapbook meets storybook style, Alliance is a charming thing to look at once you get past the weird lettering and an sloppy coloring.

The story however is too vague to judge, I find it hard to care about the characters on display. There's two ways to do this up the stakes, or up the charm. Charm you have in form of style, but the characters themselves has to be relatable, alternatively drop rocks on them.

I hope something happens soon in Alliance, if not it's just something pretty to look at.

Read Alliance: http://tapastic.com/series/alliance

• Wednesday Ash

[WednesdayAsh]

Current status: OPEN [for 3 submissions]

[Marvin]

Whoop !!

Type: Arc
Webcomic name: Humor Me
Creative team: Just Me
Link to series: http://tapastic.com/series/Humor-me
Which pages / which gag: Either chap one or two as you wish (or both, ahah)
Other: Would love to have your thoughts on the way I introduce things and characters and if I give too little info, if it takes too long for the story to start or anything else you might find !

Thaaaaaaanks !

[TheQotfo]

Thanks for the review Will keep in mind the points you discussed.

Also, could you change the spelling of my name in the critique heading. It is Kaushani.

Thanks again for taking the time!