What do you think of this story setting?

[JoshRaed]

I've been told it's too confusing at certain points, but I've changed it a lot since then so I want to know what everyone thinks of it now.

It's at a point like present day but slanted. The planet is not Earth, but it used to be, and that's why it's like this. There are shops that sell food like egg yolks but no whites, pork strips, breakfast cake batter, emu meat, flavor ice, and other stuff that's similar to food you might eat right now, but not the same. The internet exists but without screens because it's like a digital clock thing displaying article names, and you can pick one to print out, and cars are replaced with a stupid vehicle that makes much less sense purely because I'd rather eat a car than put a car in this setting. There's something like a train.

People can live in apartments or are a part of a standard neighborhood. And there's architecture reflecting modern sensibilities of American cities like New York City or Los Angeles, mixed with modern Athens. The countries of today do not exist in this world, but places vaguely similar to them do, places that would have been real world countries, but in random places. There is a greece-america hybrid, a weird mismash Europe place, all that.

Then, there's the fantasy element with a group called the Arcane who have magic powers. And there's a magical dome that cuts off half the planet, and magic floating islands. Regular people can control and perform magic, but most people don't as it takes a lot of effort and instruction to do magic. There are different types of magic, but there's no healing magic, or teleportation, no magic that can make you fly, or that can let you shoot fire balls or anything like that at a target. If you attempt these things your spell will literally explode on you.

Then there's the sci-fi element that has to do with hi-tech vehicles and machinery. And a whole portion of the planet living under the magical dome are in a cyberpunk hellscape, not because there's any good reason for these groups to have a gap in development but because making the cyberpunk universal would make the setting so much less logical feeling, as we'd have an absolute monarchy and magic, but also cyberpunk stuff at the same time. I've seen stories make it work like RWBY and star wars, but I refuse to attempt it.

People can also develop superhuman abilities without a magical or science fictional reason. This world is specifically not a superhero world.

Does this sound like it makes sense or can work? I literally cannot cut the magic or the sci-fi because they're both intrinsic to understanding the plot, and there are two major characters who do not work without this stuff. And the modern-but-not thing gives the world novelty. Like if it's not modern-but not what is it? The buildings have to look like something, and I choose this.

[mohdadeebace]

i think you should start with writing the first chapter of the story... You'll get the idea whether it all will work or not. As you've described it here it doesn't make a lot of sense, but that doesn't mean that it'll not work when a reader goes through your story, maybe it'll work-become a masterpiece, Maybe it doesn't land as you think it should... But you'll never know until you write.

As for what you describe, many of these elements you stated are there in my story, like magic, scifi, planet cut in half, etc. And at first I thought about it as well as whether scifi and fantasy elements work together in a single story - But we have examples of the same in MARVEL or DC and they all coexist perfectly fine. The thing there is always a way to do it, you just need to find it. and that's only happen as you write your story.

[moontokkym]

I think you've got 2 main issues here:

• there are things that explicitly don't have a watsonian explanation that would require one
• your explanation in itself is muddled, which doesn't help us judging if it's clear or not.

Starting with the second point, I'm going to try and synthesise your very long post:

This is on an alternative modern earth-like planet, where most things are familiar but slightly modified for an uncanny valley "home but not" esthetic. The general setting is science-fantasy, where technology takes on a more magical look and magic for regular people can exist. Though magic is common, it is not easy and anything too complex or bombastic can easily backfire, so only trained people risk it, and occasionally people will develop an affinity for the arcane. The world has a hard split (that is yet to have a watsonian explanation) between "the normes" and a magic cyberpunk dome.

That whole paragraph gives all the introductory details we would need, and in an actual comic setting, almost all of it would not need to be stated with words, you could just plop us in the setting and show the character eating the egg yolks and not commenting on it, using the clock-article-thing proficiently, taking one of the different vehicles to go somewhere, a scene where someone uses magic and people's reactions to it will show if it's normal or not.

Circling back to the doylist/watsonian problem you haven't really gotten a good grasp of what should/shouldn't require an explanation and when yet. Some things can just be glossed over as normal in universe, some larger things can be glossed over in the moment but may require explanation later that you need to know, even if the doylist explanation is "I didn't have the skill to do it another way", and some will require immediate clarification. Some things like "why is half the world in the cyberpunk suffering squad?" are obvious questions that many readers will expect an eventual answer to, because in-universe people would also question why the hell did this happen because this kinda sucks for a bunch of people, and it'd be cool if it didn't suck. There are so many possible answers for why this happened and why it's still happening:
- neither group is aware of the other because the barriers are almost entirely impenetrable
- it benefits people in power that some people stay in the cyberpunk hell dome
- people are currently trying to fix it but it's not looking good
- a god that 99% of people believe in made it that way "for the plan" and no one dare touch it
- there's an adequate "work-around" solution so that everyone is kind of ok

These are just some examples, but the main thing is working out which questions your audience can ask are important and which are ok to ignore or give a 1 sentence explanation. Questions that inherently break a big plot element of a story if the answer isn't there or doesn't fit take priority.

In your previous versions of the comic that I read (and also often in your forum threads) you have an overexplanation problem. You would give us walls of text of not immediately necessary information, jargon and mechanics that weren't immediately relevant or could be summarised as I did here.

Murder your darlings is generally good advice for the writer who is too self-indulgent, in your case I'd say "make your darlings a puzzle". Give the audience the outside pieces first so they know where they're at and then sprinkles in puzzle pieces as needed when they need that part of the whole picture. It makes things more fun, like a game, and you're not just giving them the complete puzzle right away and saying "look how pretty the picture is".

Writing is hard, rewrites are your friend, keep the important questions in mind: "what? Who? Where? Why? How?" and stick to stuff directly related to your plot in the beginning and fan out from there.

[Vassia]

The setting can work but since it's a complicated world it's going to need a strong story and some relatable characters to keep things moving so you don't get stuck in the setting. In other words start writing and see if the rest of the elements of the story are up to par with the world and go from there

[Oriflamme]

Oh hey the world description look familiar might as well be eco friendly and recycle what I’ve written last time

“It depends on what you’re trying to do with your story. The kitchen sink approach seems reminiscent of the DC or marvel comic book universe, where everything is a pastiche of grounded reality, near future sci fi, multiple mythology, fantasy, and space opera. But in these cases the story will generally stay on one theme, with minor inclusion of other elements.
I am not going to suggest not doing it, but be mindful of how you include every element. I would extend brian Sanderson's first rule of magic to worldbuilding. If you're not familiar, it goes a little something like this: The ability to resolve conflict with magic is proportional to how well the reader understands magic. In this case, the ability of the worldbuilding elements to affect the plot is proportional to how well the reader understands the world.
If you want to include all the elements you’ve listed, you’re going to need a lot of time establishing everything in your world, making sure everything is coherent and the reader is never confused while also never bored. It’s going to be a high wire balancing act the whole way through.”

To add more thoughts that are maybe unrelated:

I understand how you got there, you combine all the elements you like in a way you find novel and interesting and you keep building up on what you have. I had this story I had in my head since the middle of high school, and I keep adding up elements to the world building, a magic system inspired by avatar but with way more elements, gods, religions, nations, hundreds of years of history, and it was too much. At some point I had to cut it all out.

I had to ask myself what was the core of the story I wanted to tell, and build it out from there. In my case, the problem was the magic system. It was way too complicated and had very little connection to the story I wanted to tell. It was only there because I thought it was cool, so I replaced it. By replacing the magic system, it allowed me to eliminate all the complicated elements tied to it. I went from dozens of plot relevant countries/nations, to maybe 3 and two of them play minor roles.

Anyway, what I wanted to say is, as a writer, you should not be afraid to kill your darling. I’m not saying that as a way to make you conform to the norm, but as a way to ensure what you are trying to accomplish is focused, sharp, and rock solid. Don’t be afraid to completely redo part of your story/world. There’s a good chance the second iteration will be better than the first.

[saejin]

(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 24 hours unless flagged)

[saejin]

I think your setting can work if you give all those details clear meaning within the story itself.

At first glance, it might feel a bit overwhelming, but that’s mostly because you’re referencing familiar real-world structures and then flipping them. For example, saying “the countries of today do not exist in this world” or referencing a “Greece-America hybrid” tells the reader to start from something familiar, only to immediately unlearn it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it can be powerful, especially if it’s intentional and grounded in the story’s themes.

One way this could work is if the main character starts in a version of our present world, and then transitions into the new one. Like they get teleported or something. That would naturally justify these real-world comparisons, since the reader would experience the contrast through the character’s own eyes.

Also, I noticed you’re blending sci-fi and fantasy elements. Again, not really a problem! It just helps to make sure each element has a narrative purpose. If they serve the story, it can work really well. But if they’re just added for coolness or complexity alone, it can risk feeling hard to follow.

You might consider writing a dedicated prologue or intro scene that anchors the reader in the setting without overwhelming them. That could help create a stronger sense of immersion from the beginning. Dunno.

Hope that’s helpful!

P.S. I think I published this reply twice, sorry about that… I wrote it on the phone and pressed stuff I shouldn’t have =P

[Lensing]

I don´t think anything about it. I don´t care if the toilet paper is blue or pink in a world when
the main story is boring. The main story is all that counts. It´s hard to write a story which
touches people + is not too complicated to understand and that´s what to focus on