Alright first of all wow. What happened you is something that really hits home pretty hard since my own mom was similar in many ways. Just less extreme in some cases and far more emotional than calculative like you're mom. If you don't feel like reading my own not so depressing story.
I unlike other kids my age wasn't interested in wrestling, sports, or will playing in general if it didn't include dinosaurs. I was a Jurassic Park fan even as a little kid and for most my early life while other kids were beginning to speak their first sentences I was going around trying to communicate through roars and growls. Silly but hey can't get a speaking child every time. But as time went on I did not really change much at all. I didn't talk much and my talking was messed up because I over-pronounciate my words.
That and I would read a lot. In fact the only thing I ever did was read. Older folks always say that kids should be reading instead of playing videogames right? But they also say there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. That last saying was especially true in my case. Due to my near constant reading that bordered on religious enthusiasm I was absolutely terrible at nearly anything!
Be it school, friends, or just plain getting along socially with others I was terrible at it. I even in elementary was the kid seen as dumb because all his grades were usually amongst the worst in class. I usually had no friends or at best acquaintances. I wasn't able to even properly talk to my own parents. My parents got divorced at a young age and every year I'd move to one of their houses which were on opposites sides of the country and would rarely go to the same school more than once.
This only furthered my lack of social skills. My dad wasn't a responsible person. More responsible than others I know of but still not the most responsible. He'd often move around and need to switch jobs because of it. His luck with women was also terrible and has ended up while I was staying with him a raging alcoholic who I'd usually hear yelling and sometimes hitting my dad late at night.
Also another lady who would criticize me and my little sister for not listening to each other or following her directions correctly. She too was similar to me in her lack of social skills. Except she was more emotionally sensitive than me and easily cried at a few hateful words. That lady who criticized us so much in the end got pregnant twice with my dad before finally convincing them to move to a totally different state without any of his family members being close enough to help him if he needed it. This was when me and my sister were with our mom.
During that time though she left him and basically abandoned the kids she and my dad had in favor of a random alcoholic in the nearby town where she got pregnant twice more. My dad instead of going back home with his kids decided to stay and take care of my new little brother and sister alone without a job. They were around 5 and 6 at that time. He'd carve would into sculptures and sell them, and do the occasional job for a bit of pocket money for a full year without any help from family because he couldn't accept it without feeling guilty.
For around a year he managed to keep a roof over their heads, fed every night, and clothed. My siblings were happy. This went on until my dad eventually joined a daycare funded by the state as a teacher assistant to earn money. But mainly because he loved to play with kids. Despite a lot of work place drama, harassment and other numerous problems like the ex-wife (Yes they were married when she left him and won partial custody over the kids with my dad getting the bulk of the time with the kids) not properly clothing my siblings and stealing jackets and boots sent with them, he still managed to take care of not only my siblings but also help the dozens of kids he watched in daycare.
He'd stay up late and wake up early to do online college to get a teaching degree. He managed to juggle taking care of two kids, helping at a daycare watching dozens of kids, and keeping from being fired just because he was a man and the suspicion casted on him. All the while he got top marks in his classes and showered with praise until he got his teaching degree with flying colors.
Now my story begins. That was some necessary background story to help explain the things that will happen to me next.
The entire time my family were in their problems me and my sister were in our own pickle. My sister faced constant bullying from a young age because of her overly sensitive nature and as such she'd commonly come home into our room to bawl her eyes out while I struggled to comfort her due to my inability to properly communicate anything. My anti-social tendencies also continued and while I faced no bullying I received no attention either. I was later told that people were afraid to talk to me because I had a look on my face that said 'If you talk to me I will f*ck you up.'
Funny thing was I usually was just thinking about the latest novel and being a fanboy over what was happening in the plot. Anyways me and my sister had our own different problems, but they would occasionally intersect. Particularly on the bus. My sister would be bullied on the bus and I'd often get caught up in it when I tried to step in to help her. Because of our social skills which barely developed we were helpless against the verbal abuse he usually faced.
Not to mention the fact that my physical capabilities were inferior to even the small girls my own age and my sister was always to kind hearted to use her own strength that allowed her to match boys twice her size pound for pound. Worse yet any bus drivers we had usually didn't pay this any mind and only yelled to shut up. And we never really had the guts to tell because we developed a mentality to not tell adults.
We just tried to avoid it and accepted it whenever we couldn't. This weak victim mentality was only strengthened by what happened at home too. Both me and my sister were basically failures at school like everything else. And our mom and her boyfriend were not happy about that. We'd commonly get yelled at and slapped since we were young when we got failing grades or messed up with a task.
We'd occasionally even get belted with a belt. Me and my sister adapted in different ways. I learned to "kill" my emotions and became even more anti-social. I'd commonly lie to avoid beatings, and not tell the truth about my opinions and feelings. I'd just say what I thought the other person would want to hear. My sister however became even more sensitive and grew attached to animals.
She'd care for even strays as if they were her own family. In a certain way they were more human to her than actual humans. She was also very submissive and gullible. If it weren't for me being around to fill her with negative emotions towards our parents and reinforcing our shared bonds to handle the bad things she would have become a puppet that only ever did what our parents wanted and nothing she wanted unless it was approved of.
There was a time I wanted to go to the same middle school my "friends" were going but because of my mentality of saying what I thought others wanted to hear I agreed to my moms request to go to a middle school to learn stuff to become a doctor one day. She thought it would be best for me and it felt like more of a demand than a request to me. My sister to accepted to go to the same school the next year because she's naïve and was attached to me on an emotional level.
She went mainly to be with me. But it was not a fun experience for me. I joined a year late and was from the start behind the other kids. Remember how I said I was terrible at nearly everything due to my lack of experience with anything? Well that came into play again here. We were learning Latin and a whole lot of medical science along with the normal courses.
I was barely able to catch up and grasp math skills with the help of my dad relearning math and staying up to help teach me back when he wasn't responsible. But here there was no dad to help me. Only the man and women who was my mom who beat and screamed at me and my sister for our mistakes. I slowly but ever quicker fell behind my classmates in classes like math and Latin.
I was barely able to become average at science and history! The only thing I was good at was English and even that was average. I faced a lot of verbal and mental abuse from the other boys in my classes over my dull personality and the other differences between me and them. One such boy a big kid who was two or three heads higher than me and easily three or four times my weight HATED me just because my voice was really high pitched.
I wasn't able to defend against his insults aimed at every weak point of mine. The best I was able to do was call him an old man. Reflecting back on that I must say I was terrible at something as easy as insulting someone. Anyways by then I was able to be brought to tears just from enough verbal insults like my sister. So there were a few times I was brought to tears in the middle of class and during lunch by others.
The only ones that were nice to me were the girls because they thought I looked like a cute little doll to them. I was more feminine than masculine after all. My sister actually had friends unlike me and could get along with people. She was even good at sports because she was far stronger, and tougher physically. The beatings, yelling, and isolation only grew for me while my sister slowly became better at stuff and school became a safe haven for her.
For me school was hell. Home was also hell for us. Her grades though were better than mine and I received the worst of the punishments. Sometimes I'd take beatings for my sister by directing the blame on myself. But eventually things got worse. I continued to fail and my sister ever so slowly started to succeed and disconnect from me.
The slaps and belts evolved to being punched and thrown against walls and floors. Keep in mind that despite being a high schooler I was barely 90 pounds and weaker than most kids. Thankfully my sister didn't get treated as harshly as me. One day though my mom and her boyfriend were fed up after the many years of dealing with dim witted me.
They booked a ticket to my dads and kicked me out of the house. I was forced to leave nearly all my belongings other than some clothe, books, and a couple games. I didn't care about clothes and toys so much but the fact that I had to leave behind most of my collection of books I had collected over the year and cherished hit hard.
At my dads who by now was working as a teacher assistance and made minimum wage only had enough money to take care of himself and was against all odds taking care of his kids with such a meager amount of money. But now he had a tiny teenager who could barely do anything right with a fast metabolism to take care of. But yet again he showed how resourceful he really was and without any help took care of the four of us quite well. But I still had no friends. Still couldn't express myself. I couldn't even talk to therapists on the times they actually tried that out!
But there was another thing I haven't told ya'll about my mom and her boyfriend. They did weed and lived in a city where that was illegal. When they stopped buying it they instead shoved the task of growing it in the house on me. There were many times I had to skip school when they took my sister and the baby brother they had together with them to places like Dallas for meetings and such. My baby brother thankfully only rarely faced somewhat harsh treatment. But anyways after my exile to my dads I decided to tell him about it.
Which then resulted in not being able to talk to my sister for a full year. When I finally saw her again her naïve gullible nature was used against her to brainwash her into hating me as trash. A traitor to the family. So when she went back to our moms she wasn't allowed to talk to me unless she was listening and telling her what to say. She had been threatening law suit against my dad over keeping me despite being the one who sent me.
She also eventually decided that I wasn't allowed to talk to them until I was ready to apologize and say I lied about the fact that they forced me to grow illegal substances. But eventually around the time I was 17 after my dad supporting and encouraging me on anything I wanted to try. Whether its being homeschooled or writing I finally started writing. I managed around the last months of the year to win a contest I entered for the story I'm publishing here.
In the end after more bad stuff and my mom losing certain things she wanted to "reconnect" and "rekindle" our relationship. I talked to her a few times but my sister was still brainwashed by her to do what she says and following the plan our mom set up for her, and my mom still believed she was in the right and I was in the wrong. Needless to say we still aren't talking. But this time because I chose to.
I'm still the wreck I've always been but it ends up that all that reading was good for one thing. I could read faster than most, understood words and concepts others my age and some older than me didn't understand. As well as could write half decent stories. Looks like in the end the one thing that I was good at helped me even if in a little way. I now live with some kind relatives who took me in when I turned 18 and are supportive of me writing. So hopefully both me and you can succeed at this writing thing. And if we don't at first try and try again.
But if there's anything I've learned its to start taking control of my own life and start making decisions on my own. Without seeking permissions. One day I hope that you Elixiink will gain the freedom to choose you're own life decisions without a control freak like you're mom breathing down you're neck. Sorry for making you read through my sad depressing story. But keep up the good work and strive to accomplish you're dreams!
Also after reading you're experiences I wanted to read the novel you are writing. So if you could tell me the name I'd appreciate that!