13 / 35
May 2021

I am a silly 30-ahem-plus year old married woman who will never have kids and will never be good at cleaning the house. Age and societal expectations are arbitrary and often meaningless. I've written for fun since I was a kid but never took a class (unless you count high school English). I have NEVER let anyone read what I've written until publishing to Tapas in December. And I'm very glad I overcame the anxiety and self-doubt and did it. Can I improve? Hell yes. Can I do it without putting my stuff out there? Definitely not. Will I ever be "good enough" to have thousands of followers and get published? Probably not, but I don't really care.

If you are unhappy writing, if you don't enjoy it anymore, then don't do it. If your goal was to make it your profession but that isn't realistic, and you don't want to just do it for fun, then don't do it. I don't know what "bad writing" means and I don't know what kind of feedback you got to help you with that "bad writing." But writing is ultimately a personal endeavor that we share with others. Maybe it will always be a hobby, but so what?

(I'm starting to feel like we need a 'thirty-something married woman with no kids pursuing our storytelling dreams' club.)

I´m turning 46 in 2 weeks and I´m bad at everything but that´s just a question of perspective.
I´m a musician all my life and I never cared about being bad, I got an upright bass and jumped
on a stage 2 weeks after I got it. I´m a lousy musican with a wrong and primitive technique
when I compare myself to educated players, I have 1% of the needed musical knowledge and
I write primitive songs with it. I start to cry when I record songs because I put so much emotions
into it. Making people dance and sing along to one of my songs is the best feeling in the world.

One of my most favourite comic artists is Charles Schultz (Charlie Brown) and I look at his comic stips
whenever I feel not being good enough and not being able to tell a story which touches people

I totally agree with the opinions on here.

"being good enough" is not a goal you can work towards.

it'd be something like "finish writing a book"
or "get x amount of subscribers within that chapter/time frame". idk. tangible ones.

then you when you succeed or fail, you can analyse why. ... was the goal too unrealistic? what were things that went well, what did go wrong?

choosing goals that are vague like "I want to make a good story" or "I want to have a lot of subscribers" will never make you happy, since you can always say "it should be better, it should be more"

try to think of small and short-timed goals that you can complete in a forseeable future.
and some bigger but still concrete goals that you can still work towards.


another thing about age and feeling like what you made isn't on the level you want it to be ...

keep it smaller? try to go for short stories that you can complete within a few months.
having a finished thing, and then another, and then another is super satisfying. and even if one story flopps, because that is just always likely, you will have the satisfaction of completion, the growth from the experience, and you can find out what worked and what didn't and use it on your next project.

and then, when you've hit your stride, or when one of the short projects gets received very well, you could build on it and go for a longer series.

I find it really liberating to not "be stuck" with a story that just doesn't seem to work and only makes me frustrated.

... that is, if your feelings of dissatisfaction with your work are not just external through lack of outside validation (tho I wouldn't blame you either. A storyteller wants to be heard after all.)

and again, about the age.. that's nothing.

people usually don't yet manage to have their break during their twenties. that's just a time for testing limits, and trying all sorts of stuff.

there's also a chance that you only make a hit in your 40s or 50s.
experience does improve ones story telling. and even five years with classes, isn't a lot yet.
what I'm trying to say is, you still have time. sticking with it is always worth it. and you will only continue to grow. both as an artist and as a story teller.

Fellow 30+ woman here. Let go of the social standard. Let go of what others consider accomplished. Success has many forms, and every person considers success to be something else. I am happy I chose to pursue a art and writing career in my 30s, I never would have gotten that going in my 20s. It pleases me to see my fellow peers pursue whatever they choose to (and I really don't care how good we are at it, we're doing it baby!) because that is what life is about. To do what YOU want. To develop in a way that's good for you. I am a firm believer were all exactly where we need to be and will achieve greater heights.

Remember, there's already someone out there making their money being mediocre at what they're doing, so there's nothing stopping you from going far and beyond that. You may not think you're good now, and that feeling may never be there, but we will always be our harshest judge.

That's kind of a depressing way to think to be honest.
I'm in my 30's, single, no children, don't even own a house. I bought my first car almost 3 years ago.

I'm not the greatest artists or the greatest writer. I do work as an artist though, but not in the way I had envisioned when was younger. I had a plan on how my life was going to roll out, and you know, it just didn't pan out.

My comic is not the most popular, but it appeals to some people. They really seem to love it. I just wanted at least one reader and I got more. I can't complain. The first story is never good and it's honestly very disappointing.

My current comic, I started to write in 2001? I think. It had numerous re-writes. Like you, some of the elements were right, but the story just wasn't any good. I honestly didn't start producing the current comic until 2012. Why? The art wasn't quite right and the story still needed work. It eventually all came together and I also took big breaks to clear my head and work on other things. I stopped thinking too much on what other people will think of it, there's no such thing as perfect, because we're always growing and changing. I just did it for myself and honestly, that really did the trick.

I don't expect to work as a comic artist or as a writer full-time. It's just not in the cards. I do love my 8 to 5 job, it's not what I expected to do with my life, but life throws you some interesting curve-balls sometimes. Working as an artist worked out for me, but I know lots of great artists that don't work in the field and do the art or writing as a hobby.

At 30, yes, a person should be realistic, but if creating makes you happy, never ever give up that happiness. Don't forget, you are your harshest critic! Share your work with the world and see what kind of feedback you get from it. If it fails, it fails. You get to move on from it and create something new. Because, I was honestly surprised on people's reaction to the comic. They love it in a way that I never thought someone would love my work. It's absolutely surreal. But, you won't know that, until you share it with others.

Starting to agree with you about that club membership thing... we're up to, what, at least six in this thread alone?

@lynestjules
@surenlicious
@Scarlet_Cryptid
@littlelilylee5683

(also everyone)
These responses have been crazy supportive. I honestly thought I would get replies for actual coping mechanisms for how to call it quits.

Some after a good nights rest thoughts:

I love telling stories/ making up stories. And my passion is creating.

I am not in it for money.
I need to figure out goals that will make me feel accomplished. Before this, my only goal was to traditionally publish the one book (which I did write, edit and rewrite so that's an accomplishment).
I have no actual attachment goal-wise to my comic. that was been fun and I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. Maybe the next comic I will put more into. And maybe make it a more sociable genre?

Please can we have a womens 30ish+ creater a support group??

You can always make up a discord server or something for that :+1:

This thread is a very emotional read for me (turning 35 soon... married... all our friends are having kids... dirty messy house lol). And I know friends and family probably think I'm absolutely just blindly insane for hoping to get anywhere with this comics/art thing that I'm not good at (let's please add "yet" - it's a nice word).

There are definitely reasons to drop things you love to focus on other things in your life - it really hurts but there's only so much time and we have to make choices about how to spend it. Just... make sure you make the choice that's important to you.

Reading this made me hope really hard that you keep writing and drawing. If making stories is your dream... screw the cleaner house, and there's nothing silly about spending your time on the thing you love.

Also, congratulations on writing a book! That's amazing :coffee_love:.

I'll never tell someone to quit creating. Because, I know how fulfilling it is for me. Removing that aspect would make me very depressed. I need it.
I mean, the pandemic put a halt in a lot of things. But, I make time for the people who are allowed to be in my bubble according to the rules here we have in place here for our pandemic level. I might not have the life society pushes me to have because I'm a woman, but I'm actually very happy with my life. I have a wonderful family, terrific friends and a great job. On a bonus side, I get to create on my spare time. Life is good.

This was great. I had zero expectations when I threw my work on here and I have had some of the sweetest, most beautiful comments and reactions. Never in my life would I think someone would connect to my characters or story that way. It just takes one person and their single comment to make me crazy happy. And it makes me just as happy to read and comment on other novels and comics here too (when I somehow manage to find the time), because most of us are all in similar places and just want to share what we love.

Yup. I'm in the same boat. I read and comment when I have the time or really feel like sitting down to read stuff. If I'm feeling creative, I just close everything up, put on my headphones and some music and just draw all day. Today, is one of those days, but I need to have a snack break.

I think... of course you'll get supportive responses here, because many of us are just like you. Or were. Or understand where you're coming from. And we've seen unexpected results after taking that chance.

It's difficult to realize you're not exactly the way you want to be or that things aren't following the path you wanted to take. So many things in my life didn't go the way I planned, for reasons way beyond my control. But that's also just an opportunity to pause, think about what you REALLY want, and then take steps toward that instead. I think it's great that you're going to reassess and start making some achievable goals. Everyone has to grow, and unless you're a natural savant, everyone takes those small steps forward (and sometimes back ^^).

Yesterday was a binge day for me. I said screw it, I'm not writing anything, I'm just catching up on some of these novels and comics! It was a very nice way to procrastinate. Like I'm doing right now in this thread... :sweat_smile:

And now... next week's episode are calling... :smirk:

So your plot is solid, and you have faith in your characters, but the way you express these ideas is not up to task for you?

The answer is so simple it might shock you. Read more. I mean read more good content, I mean really good content, the kind you get in a bookstore, instead of just wandering around Tapas hoping you'll find someone with bulletproof prose. I even take notes when I read other people's works for studying purposes, sometimes on (almost)every page!

Reading the works of others is just a good way to find inspiration in general, actually. Just don't grade your work against theirs, because those guys have the support on full-on editors to help clean up the mess.

And if all else fails, you can just go find some reviews of authortube books to laugh at. Despite giving a lot of writing advice, there's a lot of authortubers who aren't so hot at writing themselves. Here's a review to get your browsing started: